A woman trapped in a loveless marriage for the sake of her kids can’t stand the thought of spending Christmas Day with her husband, and is now figuring out a way to break the news
A woman has opened up about her experiences of being trapped in a loveless marriage at Christmastime – and admits she can’t bear the thought of sitting down for Christmas dinner with him.
The fed-up wife told her spouse five years ago that she felt their relationship had come to a dead end, and still, “somehow”, she’s found herself preparing for yet another Christmas together.
According to the wife, she has already come to the decision that they “need to separate” – a conclusion that her family, who “can’t stand him”, wholeheartedly agrees with. This strong dislike has resulted in “massive tension leading up to Christmas”, and as the big day draws ever closer, things are getting even more tricky.
On Christmas Day, the unhappy mum will be heading over to her own mother’s house to celebrate and is now wondering how to tell her husband that he isn’t invited.
Detailing her dilemma in a Mumsnet post, the anonymous wife wrote: “He has been in previous years and she has been polite for my sake and the kids’ sake, but she does not want him there this year. Enough is enough. I don’t want him there either, but I am 99 per cent sure he’ll assume he’s coming with us and that he will think there is absolutely no reason why he shouldn’t.
“There are lots of reasons, but he doesn’t see them at all. Anyway, I feel like I can’t win; I’m going to give someone/ many people a crap day whatever I say or do or don’t say or do.”
She went on to clarify that her hubby “never bothers coming to any family things”, meaning “the kids are used to it always being the three of us”. However, on Christmas day, he tends to make an exception – “in so far as turning up, eating, going to sleep and then walking home while we stay.”
The unnamed woman fears that, if he does come along this year, her brother – who knows just how miserable she is – will speak up. Describing her situation as “a classic staying for the kids mistake” that “has to come to an end”, she went on to admit: “I do realise that is my responsibility”.
She’s now sought advice from fellow Mumsnet users, who haven’t held back in urging her to make some tough choices. One person commented: “Timing isn’t great but you need to be direct. Tell him that in the new year you will be seeking legal advice, you have had enough and so he isn’t welcome on Christmas Day. If he reacts, then you have your perfect excuse to get the ball rolling (not that you need one!)”
Another suggested: “Just tell him he is not invited because of his behaviour…..put it over onto him, it’s his own behaviour that has caused this so you shouldn’t feel guilty if he knew how to behave and was a nice person he would have been invited…. End of. Maybe this will kick start the separation that should have happened years ago.”
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