A woman who lost her husband of 44 years, after an eight year battle with cancer and her mum just months earlier, used her savings to go on a five month trip to Australia and New Zealand
A courageous widow took a £10k solo backpacking adventure to find solace after a trio of personal tragedies.
Judy Condie, 63, faced the heartache of losing her husband Richard, with whom she spent 44 years, to cancer following an 8-year-long fight, just months after her mum Mary’s death – experiences that left her feeling “empty”.
To add to her sorrow, her beloved eight year old dog Jet also passed away, and with the bleak prospect of enduring her first lonely winter in England, she tapped into her savings for a five-month escape to Australia and New Zealand as a way to process her loss.
Crafting her travel plans while confronting the terminal nature of Richard’s illness, Judy was adamant she “couldn’t just wait for him to pass away and wonder what to do after”. With nothing but a light 6lb backpack, she hung up her work hat, caught a flight to Australia in August 2023 to be with her daughter, and embarked on a six-month trek across the west coast of Australia and New Zealand.
Her journey, filled with encounters and tale-telling, served to celebrate Richard’s memory.
Exploring idyllic locations like Rottnest Island’s sandy stretches, the lively streets of Adelaide, Melbourne’s urban buzz, Surfers Paradise’s leisure spots, the vibrant culture of Byron Bay, and the artistic milieu of Tasmania’s museums, Judy found solace and inspiration. During her travels, she chronicled her journey through grief in a diary, leading her to author a book reflecting her poignant narrative.
Judy, from Surrey, a retired welfare manager at a nursing home, shared her heartrending experience: “The plan, it was a very rough idea, but I couldn’t just wait for him to pass away and wonder what to do with myself — I had to do something to get away and grieve.
“You have to acknowledge the grief and I’ve come back a better person. You can’t dwell on these things, otherwise it destroys you. It was a very vague plan and I booked things very last minute. It was very hard at the start because I’d emptied out my life. It was weird and frightening in that I had this space in front of me to fill.”
Finding comfort in conversations during her travels, Judy discovered that she enjoyed talking to different people. “I was on my own and people talk to you. I got such lovely feedback but circumstances grew and my confidence grew. You see these beautiful places and you want to share it.
“I was fascinated by how interested people were when I spoke to them and that gave me the confidence to keep going. Although it was sad, it was an adventure and a tremendous experience – there were never days when I didn’t want to be there or come home.”
However, before the loss, Judy faced additional hardships as she worked alongside Richard, at the same nursing home he passed away in and she knew she wouldn’t be able to face going back to the same workplace after his death. But she was dealt two other significant blows in the months before Richard’s passing. She said: “He worked full-time until three weeks before he died.”
Ultimately, this led Judy to step away from her career: “It was impossible in my mind to go to work because we both worked together and everyone there was also dealing with the loss – it made sense for me to retire. Six months before he died I lost my dog and then my mum at Christmas. The dog was a surprise as his cancer came out of nowhere.”
The prospect of travelling with her dog had once been paramount.
“The idea of me going off with my dog was all I needed and wanted so losing him was sad but in a funny way if I hadn’t lost him I probably wouldn’t have gone to Australia as wouldn’t have wanted to leave him for a long period of time. Mum was getting closer and I knew they were going to pass at a similar time and that just emptied me,” Judy added.
“Because we have a daughter who lives in Australia it made sense for me to be there. I went to Australia and I decided I wanted to go off on my own to find peace and solitude. You don’t get over grief but I knew I had to reach those depths to come back stronger and with new purpose.”
Judy holds Tasmania dear, but also credits the environment down under for helping her recover. She said: “I was in the most beautiful places – if the heat and light and space of the places doesn’t begin to heal you then nothing will. That first English winter would have been ever so hard to get through at that time so I was so glad I went away for it. It kickstarted my new life. It ended up being a fantastic thing. I’ve always loved writing and had a dream to write a book – so I wrote it all down for my own benefit.”
“I’d always had this plan in my head of being alone on a beach with no around for miles and I achieved that in Tasmania and it was such a lovely feeling so it’s become a definite memory. Byron Bay — I loved being there as an older person and watching life go by. New Zealand was very different to Australia — green lush hills and it’s beautiful, absolutely fantastic. Every stage brought something else and that was really nice.”
On her way back home, Judy made stops to take in the sights of Mauritius and South Africa. Once she returned, she began penning her book which offers a “brutally honest and light-hearted” perspective on grief and she plans to visit Australia annually.
Judy has now published a book, with a portion of the sales going towards cancer charities.