Despite being in a committed relationship with her boyfriend, Nova Hawthorne is also exploring her relationship with women, and doesn’t class it as cheating on him
A woman who identifies as hetero-monogamous has dispelled some myths about her unusual relationship set-up.
The term can refer to a man and woman being in an exclusive relationship and agreeig to be monogamous with eachother in regards to their partner’s gender – but may be open to the opposite gender. For example, a woman could be with a man, but she could also sleep with other women.
This is the case for Nova Hawthorne, who has been in a committed relationship with her partner James, but is allowed to sleep with other women, while James is a straight male, and is exclusively with her. While the set up may not be seen as a traditional, she said it’s made the couple “stronger” and they don’t class it as cheating.
Nova identifies as bisexual, and says having the ability to still date and “occasionally” sleep with women helps her “honour” her sexuality, without “suppressing” a part of herself.
Nova realised she was attracted to women at the age of 12, and resonated bisexuality at 13. As she got older she would have times where she had both a boyfriend and a girlfriend and also worked as a sex worker which she called “personally fulfilling”.
However she struggled when she was in a relationship as she would have desires for both men and women and told Metro: “I sometimes found myself falling for a woman outside of the relationship. At that point it was better to be single. So, after James and I met online when I was 24 and seeking a sugar daddy, I knew I needed to have an open conversation with him about my sexuality early on.”
Nova said she now has a “dynamic” which works for both of them and explained: “While we’re in a monogamous relationship in many ways – meaning neither of us dates or sleeps with other men (or women, in James’s case) – I am free to explore my attraction to women as I please.”
She said there are no rules or boundaries when it comes to her dating women, but the pair have “open communication” and she will tell the 63-year-old if she’s seeing someone new, but won’t go into details.
“It’s a balance of respect and trust, and it hasn’t caused any issues between us. In fact, I think it’s brought us closer because we’ve built our relationship on mutual understanding. As for how often I date or sleep with women, it varies. Sometimes I’ll go on a few dates over a couple of months, and other times there are longer stretches where I don’t see anyone.”
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