A woman who woke up unable to recognise her fiancé or daughter has shared her story in a new Amazon Prime documentary which reveals her heartbreaking struggle to live a normal life
Nesh Pillay’s story has been dubbed the real life 50 First Dates because of its striking similarity to the film of the same name starring Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler.
In the movie a playboy commitment-phobe finds the girl of his dreams but he quickly realises she has short-term memory loss and he has to woo her all over again every morning, while trying to convince her family that he really loves her.
The plot could have been taken straight from 34-year-old Nesh’s life because in 2022 she woke up from a nap feeling confused and with memory loss. She thought her then-boyfriend Johannes Jakope, 32, was her Uber driver and couldn’t understand why he was in her bedroom filming her.
Heartbreakingly, she also didn’t recognise her young daughter. “I called my daughter ‘the child’ which I imagine was a jarring experience for her,” Pillay recalled, according to the New York Post. “I would say ‘I have a child? I don’t know how to take care of a child!”
In one Tiktok video she shared a clip of herself looking bewildered in bed when she thought it was 1996 and she was still 17. She was being filmed as her fiancé recapped everything that she had forgotten. He revealed that she was actually “a grown up” and had her own company working in PR and marketing. He also told her she was divorced from her first husband, which mortified her but he went on to tell her that he was her partner now and that she was an “amazing” girlfriend.
As well as realising she had missed her sisters growing up because she only remembered them from when they were much smaller, the voiceover she provides explains that not knowing her daughter was the hardest thing of all. Pictures of her pregnant and with her little girl as a baby and toddler play over the clip as she asks if she’s ok and if she can provide for her. Johannes explains that she can’t right now but will be able to “tomorrow”.
It was thought that head injuries from her childhood and a more recent trauma, which she couldn’t recall, had triggered amnesia. A neurologist confirmed that she did have a concussion and may have experienced multiple seizures, resulting in her memory loss.
Johannes recalls how terrifying it was to witness the woman he loves becoming someone else: “I was really scared,” he says. “This person who was like a rock, and now she’s falling apart.” Despite this the couple remained together and she knew she could trust him to take care of her.
Nesh, who is based in Toronto, fell in love with Johannes all over again thanks to his commitment to her – he even learned how to braid her hair so he could help her to feel pretty. “No matter what, I always knew he was a safe space. He was still the person I would choose to go to doctor appointments with me or help me shower,” she said. “So naturally, even in my brain state, I wanted to marry him.”
He eventually proposed although she couldn’t legally consent initially due to her condition and the couple welcomed a son in March 2024. After sharing her battles on social media, the story went viral, which led to the comparison with the movie. “So many people have referred to our story as 50 First Dates or The Vow and I see the similarities – after all, I did fall in love with him for a second time, and will likely do so for the rest of my life,” she revealed.
Unfortunately making her experience public also brought with it criticism from online trolls who accused her of faking the whole thing. “For a long time, I carried a lot of shame because my diagnosis was so unclear, and I knew that some doctors didn’t fully believe me,” she explained.
While she has recovered more of her memories, she still suffers from headaches, nausea and tremors and is hoping to find a treatment to help make her life easier. “There’s still so much we don’t understand about the human brain, so right now, it feels a lot like throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks,” she revealed. By allowing her story to be told in the docuseries she is hoping to show people that her life is nothing like a Hollywood plot. “Real life isn’t a movie – it’s messy, uncertain, and imperfect, and that’s OK,” she insisted.
50,000 First Dates A True Story is streaming on Amazon Prime Video.