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Mum Annabel has shared an open and honest overview on her thoughts of motherhood, revealing she loves her son more than anything – but also admitted she can get ‘bored’ at times
A mum who sacrificed her globetrotting lifestyle to have her son admits that parenting leaves her feeling “bored.”
Yesterday, The Mirror told how Race Across the World star Kelly Brook says being “blunt” about not having children – following life challenges including miscarriages and relationship issues – shocks some people, while her honesty is appreciated by others.
Now travel writer Annabel Fenwick Elliott, 38, mum to Jasper, two, says of parenting: “It’s really hard to get anything done and I’m not very good at mindlessly playing with my toddler. I’m excited for when he can talk and have conversations and when we can kind of role play together, watch movies and do all that stuff.
“I think I do ok. I just find the days very long when trying to conjure up activities to keep him interested. Particularly when he was younger, chasing a maniacal tornado around the house and stopping him from killing himself all day on a loop was just very boring.” And she understands why Kelly says: “I don’t want to sit there watching people parent.”
London-born Annabel tells The Mirror: “Other kids do gross me out. I’m squeamish about food mess. Yogurt hands, crumbs in the car seat… I’ve always just found it disgusting.”
Annabel, whose decision to have Jasper with her helicopter pilot husband Julius Scholtes, 31, came as a shock to those close to her, says it wasn’t in her plan until her mid-thirties, when her “biological clock went off like an alarm all of a sudden.” She continues: “I think everyone was surprised when I got pregnant. But my family were all very relieved as they thought I never would.”
Describing her son as “semi-feral,” she says: “I still don’t like children, I don’t find other children cute, their snot grosses me out and I don’t like being around them when they eat”. Again, she understands why Kelly Brook says she has lost friends who are parents because her life is so different to theirs and she frankly admits that she is not the kind of mum she imagined she would be.
“When I first found out I was pregnant, I thought, ‘this is major and I guess I’m going to become one of those hippy travel mums who brings their baby everywhere around the world like those bucket list families,… living on planes and it would be great,” she says.
“A lot of the time I’m bored, I’m frustrated, I’m tired and on paper it sounds rubbish. I’ve loved him (Jasper) since the moment we met, but he’s definitely getting easier as he grows. Eighteen months to 24 months were the worst for me. I didn’t have even a moment to myself. I breastfed him until he was two and we still co-sleep so it’s all very full on at the moment. At least now he sleeps through the night and can play independently a bit.”
Annabel, who has ADHD, admits: “I still feel like I have to constantly entertain Jasper and get guilty when I can’t but I do my best. Having a short attention span doesn’t help. Things parents do like singing nursery rhymes and watching children’s TV, can become “mindnumbing” according to Annabel, who used to avoid spending time with mums before she had Jasper.
She says: “I never knew what to do or say. I was a fish out of water. I’m still not great at interacting with kids who aren’t mine even now.” She still finds mixing with mothers tough, adding: “I am terrible at socialising generally and I find other mums often scary and judgy.”
But she adores Jasper and is looking forward to him being older, when they can have proper conversations although, with astonishing frankness, she says: “At the moment he’s not at that stage and I’m just keeping him alive and entertained the best I can until he gets a bit older.
“Undoubtedly having ADHD and suspected autism – which I’m being assessed for at the moment – makes motherhood harder. I found it tricky enough to keep my own show on the road, let alone a child’s!” Annabel – who says she will not be going away with Jasper now until he is older and it’s easier – also says she takes advantage of opportunities to spend time alone and is happy when her husband agrees to stay at home with their son so she can travel solo.
She says: “I miss travelling – it was my job, I was a travel writer – but I still get to do it occasionally. My husband stays home with Jasper and I go off for up to 10 days. I’m in a unique position because my husband works contracts, so he can look after Jasper when I go away. I wouldn’t otherwise.
“I think it’s important for him to spend one-on-one time with his dad, since most of the time he’s just with me.” But, despite finding parenting tricky, Annabel loves “watching Jasper learn new things, making him laugh, and seeing how amazing his relationship is with his father.” She says: “I’ve never known love like it. I have never loved anything more in my life or cared about anything as much as I do for Jasper.”
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