Louise Shackleton has revealed to the Mirror the heartbreaking moment her husband confirmed to her he knew exactly when he was going to die at Dignitas in Switzerland
A wife whose husband had a ‘beautiful’ death in her arms at Dignitas has relived the emotional moment her husband told her he had booked his own suicide. Louise Shackleton is now being investigated by police for taking Antony, 59, who had motor neurone disease, to Switzerland to die in December.
The grieving widow has now penned an emotional letter to British MP’s calling on them to back the assisted dying bill currently making it’s way through Parliament. And in a moving tell-all interview, Louise, 58, from North Yorkshire, told The Mirror how her husband went about making plans for his own suicide.
READ MORE: Dignitas widow issues desperate plea to UK MPs – read her heartbreaking letter in full
Grief-stricken Louise spoke to the Mirror from her home, which was extensively adapted for her husband, in rural North Yorkshire. She told how when Antony received news of his “death-day” by email, he smiled but her world was “blown apart”.
He was so happy about the news he wrote ‘death-day’ on his calendar for December 5th 2024. Louise said: “He used to laugh and say; ‘I was born in Scarborough, was married in Austria and I’m gonna die in Switzerland. I’m like an international guru. After his diagnosis in 2018 she said they set about fulfilling his bucket list and “couldn’t cry for six years.”
“You’ve got to make good times” she said. But as his condition deteriorated Antony decided to carry out his plan. The couple flew to Switzerland on December 1st and had “four amazing days” together before arriving at the Dignitas ‘blue’ house.
After he was told once again, he would not wake up from the barbiturate, he told staff: ‘What do you think I’m here for. Let’s do this’ and he took the drug before slipping away in her arms.
Louise said: “Antony had anxiety before he got what they call the provisional green light from Dignitas. When he got the green light, he then started looking at how his body would come back.
“But my husband died prematurely because of our law. Because he could still be here now. He had to be able to get there physically so we went earlier.
“Before he died I had to provide full care. He started going downhill quite from 2023 and that’s when he was talking about committing suicide at home.
“It was more about his dignity, he couldn’t eat very well and he started choking on his food. He hated the fact that I had to toilet him. It was his independence he wanted back and mourned for.
“ He said that he could live without motorbiking, golf, playing pool but he could not live without that.
“His quality of life was beginning to deteriorate and the motor neurone was beginning to take a fierce grip. He was scared of what was to come next..
“Because he was deteriorating, he knew that I wouldn’t be able to help him soon, and he didn’t want anyone else to get in trouble.
“He was scared of his death from motor neurone but he wasn’t scared of his death day at Dignitas. In fact he was rejuvenated knowing that his end would be peaceful.”
Asked how she coped with knowing his ‘deathday’ was approaching, she said: “I’d already suffered for the five odd years with anticipation-grief, knowing he was going to die. But when he smiled at me and said, ‘I’ve got my date,’ I broke. It was horrible because I knew he had to do this away from everyone he loved.
“He started making plans about how he wanted to say goodbye to people, while not being able to tell them when he was going to end his life. He had four amazing friends and the night before we left to go to Manchester Airport, he rang every one of them, apart from one who we couldn’t get hold of and that upset him so much.
“They all then got together and said if you had a phone call from ‘Shack?’ it’s not usual that he rings them like that. They must have found it strange. I just wish he could have said a proper goodbye to everyone.”
The Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill will return to the Commons on May 16th. The Bill aims to allow terminally ill adults in England and Wales – with less than six months to live – to legally end their lives.
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