A midwife has shared the ‘biggest shock’ new parents get after they have a baby, adding that it’s a very common phenomenon not many people know about before they go through it themselves
A midwife has shared the ‘biggest shock’ new parents face after having a baby. Becoming a parent for the first time has many exciting and nerve-wracking moments.
The transition to parenthood brings with it a host of adjustments. Those with new-borns may have to deal with a lack of sleep deprivation, planning your day around your baby’s routine, and suddenly being responsible for another human life. It’s no wonder becoming a parent comes with its fair share of learning curves. Ellie, a registered midwife and antenatal educator, took to TikTok to discuss a common surprise many new parents will face, but may not know about.
She asked: “Do you want to know the biggest shock new parents get after they have a baby?”.
“Imagine this: on the first night of your baby’s life they sleep, they feed on demand, they’re just happy to be here and then the second night hits and no matter how much you feed your baby, rock your baby, they just won’t settle.
“This is called second night syndrome and so many parents don’t know about it, but I’m here to teach you.”
Ellie went on to explain that there are several reasons why ‘second night syndrome’ happens, but she reassured parents that it’s nothing to worry about and isn’t caused by anything they’ve done wrong.
The first reason she provided is that babies expend a lot of energy during birth and “go into their reserves”. This may leave them extremely fatigued and need to adjust to the outside world on their first day.
Babies undergo a lot of changes and need to learn how to breathe, so on their first night, they “just want to sleep”, according to the midwife.
However, by the second night, new-borns will have regained some of their energy and may start “cluster feeding”.
This isn’t necessarily because your breastfeeding isn’t effective, according to Ellie, but rather because babies are trying to stimulate their mother’s breasts to increase milk production.
She explained: “It’s a normal instinct that babies go through, so the first thing you need to do is not panic, the baby is okay.”
She suggests skin-to-skin contact between the mum and baby as it’s “excellent for regulating babies” and helps keep them calm.
The baby expert warned against the temptation to give your baby formula milk if you’re breastfeeding, as this can have a “negative effect on your supply”.
She advised: “In the early days of breastfeeding it’s really, really important that we establish your supply and we teach [the] baby how to feed, so giving formula in the early days can actually have adverse effects on your breastfeeding journey.”
Ellie recommends expressing some colostrum and having someone else feed it to the baby or doing it yourself, so you can be prepared if you’re exhausted.
Colostrum is the initial breast milk produced during pregnancy and for the first few days after birth.
Ellie offered a further piece of advice to parents battling through the new-born stage – take turns caring for the little one at night, with both birth mum and partner taking on equal responsibility.
She concluded with the encouraging message, saying: “The most important thing to remember is that this will pass, you’ll get through the night.”
She added: “It is tough, it’s so difficult but you will get there.”
The midwife’s candid TikTok video has racked up 393,300 views, along with 23,700 likes and over 200 comments.
One parent who’s been there and done that shared: “The second night is a wild experience.”
Another chimed in: “I wish I knew this at the time. We were both in tears the whole night and I thought my baby hated me.”
Yet not everyone’s experience was quite so dramatic, as another user mentioned: “It doesn’t always happen people. My child didn’t have this. She just fed normally and was sleeping through the night from around 3 months. Don’t panic!”.
If you are a new parent who is anxious about your baby’s well-being post-birth, you may want to seek advice from a healthcare professional.