Paramedics had to fight to keep Donia alive in the back of an ambulance while her children watched
A mum diagnosed with aggressive cancer had a near-death experience while undergoing treatment, and has explained exactly what she saw as she was moving towards the other side. Donia Youssef has started writing children’s books about death after her experience – and after experiencing her sister take her own life.
Donia took to writing children’s books as a way of opening the discussion around dying and making it less scary for youngsters, she said: “I found writing as a form of therapy, anything I was inspired by, I would just write about and try and turn that trauma into power and basically empower people and myself really.”
Doni’as own brush with death started after a night out for her 39th birthday, when she noticed she’d “lost some weight” but put it down to her chaotic lifestyle looking after a newborn, and toddler and running her successful acting agency.
After waking up in agony the next morning she said: “I thought I’d fallen over or something? But no, I felt under my arm and a huge lump, the size of a golf ball was there.”
Donia saw her GP the following Monday and was urgently sent for a mammogram on the NHS ’s two week wait cancer pathway, in 2017. Donia was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer; however, it had already spread to the lymph nodes under her armpit which meant there was a possibility it had gone to other parts of her body.
Donia had a catastrophic reaction to chemotherapy which left her close to death in the back of an ambulance. She said: “After my fourth round of chemotherapy I went into heart failure. I lost a lot of blood, I couldn’t stand, and I had to be resuscitated.
“I was wheeled into the back of an ambulance and my heart rate was ridiculously high. My blood pressure was ridiculously high, my body was convulsing and, I started seeing these white lights and could start to feel my body lifting it was like I saw a tunnel.
“Next minute, I heard all these monitors going off, I’d been injected with adrenaline and then bang, crash I felt like, I just literally came down to earth and I was told I was very, very close to dying that night.”
Unfortunately, her children witnessed the ordeal, along with watching her fight the cancer on many other occasions which resulted in her 5-year-old suffering from an anxiety disorder and attachment issues. She said: “It broke me, I was so angry. I could deal with cancer myself but watching your two little kids whose lives were taken from what should be the first important five years of their life and instead, they’re just worried about mummy.”
Donia’s chemotherapy then stopped working halfway through her treatment, and come December 2017 she had a double mastectomy, overall, it was a 12-hour operation however, in January 2018 her consultant confirmed for the first time she was in remission.
After being so close to death Donia wanted to “give back” and went on to write her first book The Monster in Mummy which became a best seller on Amazon within 48 hours of publication. The Monster in Mummy follows Donia’s journey of breaking the news to her 2-year-old and 5-year-old, whilst overcoming her own traumatic story and empowering them.
Donia said: “I had never written a book before but I loved writing, I thought let me just try. So, I did and I reached out to a publisher who helped me and now it’s being adapted into a film with a six-time Oscar nominee director who fell in love with the story.”
The 46-year-old has now turned her book into a series of best-selling books called The Monster series helping to explain cancer to children, whilst giving parents guidance on how to navigate cancer diagnoses. The series helps create awareness on critical topics such as cancer awareness and mental health-related topics. These books are not only inspired by Donia’s cancer journey but also her sister’s death and how to cope with grief whilst looking after young children.
Donia has gone on to win awards for her books, whilst also becoming an award-winning screenwriter all while raising funds for the cancer charities which helped to support her and her family. When asked if she could give one piece of advice to a parent going through a cancer diagnosis the Essex-based author said: “Children don’t really know the word cancer. They’re oblivious, so to us it’s a lot worse. Whereas to kids, if you’re honest with them and they know you’re not hiding anything, then they’ll feel a lot more reassured. That’s what I found so effective communication and obviously child-friendly language that they’ll understand. Also spending more time with your family, doing things you love, keeping your circles tight is important.”
Donia is now in remission and working with cancer charities to raise awareness for cancer, whilst also helping other parents who find themselves in the same position as herself. She is grateful for her care and said: “The advancement in cancer care is phenomenal.” Donia is now one of the campaign ambassadors for cancer research and said: “It’s incredible where we are now in treatment compared to where we were, even though they say there’s no cure, there can be because I’m still here, seven years later against all odds.”