From gold toilets to stolen sausage rolls, here’s an absurd round up of real-life crimes that prove you really can go to jail for the downright ridiculous – and the court will never be amused
Criminal activity is nothing to joke about, but when it comes to crimes, you are probably thinking of burglary, fraud and assault. However, sometimes, the law collides with the most ridiculous crimes, and everyone ends up trying to hold a straight face whilst attempting to make it through a court case.
The case of the £4.8 million golden toilet, at Blenheim Palace, installed as part of an art exhibition by Italian conceptual artist Maurizio Cattelan being stolen is one such case. The fully functioning 18-carat gold toilet titled America and crown jewel of the show was taken after a glitzy launch party in September 2019. Thieves smashed into the stately home and decided they weren’t very happy with its positioning, instead choosing to make off with it themselves.
READ MORE: I’ve tested five electric toothbrushes and model that whitens my smile is £20 off in Amazon sale
Two men have now been jailed, James ‘Jimmy’ Sheen, 40, a career criminal from Oxford, pleaded guilty to burglary and conspiracy in 2024 after his DNA was found at the scene and gold fragments were discovered in his clothes. His phone, brimming with incriminating messages in coded language and slang, sealed his fate.
He was sentenced to four years in prison, which he will serve consecutively with a previous 19-year term. Michael Jones, 39, was found guilty of burglary in March and sentenced to two years and three months. Jones had booked a time slot to use the toilet the day before the heist and even snapped photos inside the cubicle. During the court case Michael was asked to confirm having used the toilet, he confirmed and described the experience as “splendid.”
The golden loo isn’t the only criminality to have graced the halls of the very serious institution. A surprising number of offenders have found themselves on the wrong side of the law – some of them so surreal you probably won’t even believe what you read.
Originally compiled by Morton’s Solicitors in Manchester, here are some of the most outlandish real-life convictions in recent UK legal history:
Cheese Theft In 2013, a group of thieves targeted a dairy farm not for cattle, but for cheese. Whilst the rest of the world slept, thieves stole thousands of pounds worth of cheese. After being caught they claimed they were overcome with passion for cheese. Whilst everyone else was probably trying to stop themselves doubling over with laughter, the court wasn’t very amused. Despite their “passions,” the group were handed standard theft charges.
The Sausage Roll Incident One hungry individual couldn’t resist the smell of a fresh batch of sausage rolls cooling on a bakery counter. They walked in, grabbed a handful, and left without paying but the individual faces standard theft charges because the law takes any type of property theft quite seriously. It’s still a crime and still had consequences.
Takes the Biscuit In London, a man pocketed an expensive box of biscuits. When questioned, the man claimed they were meant as a gift for his girlfriend. Whilst the gesture was nice it was still a crime. The court – with its stiff upper lip – remained unmoved, treating the theft as a straightforward violation of retail laws.
Loitering in Gnome Disguise A group of individuals dressed as garden gnomes and lingered in a residential area, their aim was to spook passers-by. The stunt landed them in hot water and they were charged with public nuisance. The law doesn’t accept that individuals should have to experience unnecessary distress.
Feeding the Seagulls In a coastal Devon town, a man was fined for feeding chips to seagulls, in breach of local regulations. The man argued he was just sharing a few chips with the birds, but the court ruled that encouraging aggressive bird behaviour was a public safety issue and upheld the penalty.