The long-awaited spectacle, on paper a celebration of the 250th anniversary of the US Army, was sparsely attended – with far fewer than the expected 250,000 Trump fans turning up for his 79th birthday bash
Donald Trump seemed to struggle staying awake as his $45 million birthday parade of tanks and troops rolled through a humid Washington DC on Saturday night.
The long-awaited spectacle, on paper a celebration of the 250th anniversary of the US Army, was sparsely attended – with far fewer than the expected 250,000 Trump fans turning up for his 79th birthday bash.
Elements of the parade – including a parachute display – were moved earlier as dark stormclouds gathered over the National Mall, threatening to soak the 7,000 soldiers marching the two-mile route in 30 degree heat.
In the end the weather mostly let them alone – but the chest-beating display of American pomp came at the end of a fraught week for America, and alongside huge protests against Trump’s authoritarian behaviour.
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1. Trump struggled to stay awake
Trump appeared to struggle to keep his eyes open from time to time.
There also was a very weird moment towards the end, where Trump and Melania just stood in the middle of the stage for several minutes in silence, until a uniformed military officer appeared to tap Trump on the shoulder and suggest he might like to try leaving the stage.
2. He came on stage to God Save the King
When Trump came on stage for his birthday speech, the US Army band played not “Hail to the Chief”, but “God Save The King”.
In America, the tune of our national anthem is shared with the patriotic song “My Country ’Tis of Thee”.
But if you were looking for signs that Donald already considers himself a monarch, there were plenty to find at Saturday’s parade.
3. Nobody looked like they wanted to be there
The President sat between gurning Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth – wearing a gaudy camouflage tie and Stars and Stripes pocket square – and a scowling Melania throughout the parade.
A few seats away, Secretary of State Marco Rubio looked decidedly bored, sitting sideways on his chair and yawning.
4. The sponsor shoutouts were very weird
Among many jarring juxtapositions in Saturday’s parade was the list of Trump-friendly sponsors who got shoutouts throughout the display of military sacrifice.
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” the host said in a booming voice as tanks and troops filed past the President.
“Please thank our sponsor, [crypto firm] Coinbase.”
Later there were shoutouts for datamining firm Palantir and the UFC.
Even weirder were the tents where serving soldiers in uniform were handing out free cans of Phorm Energy, a truly vile beverage co-owned by UFC boss Dana White.
The variety on offer at the parade was called “Screamin’ Freedom”.
5. The parade was impressive – but not quite North Korea
While the hardware on show was huge and intimidating, the parade itself was not on the same level of grandeur and precision as those seen in dictatorships.
Similar displays in North Korea feature huge blocks of troops in tight, formal formation and strict, disciplined marching.
Saturday’s parade appeared more relaxed, with soldiers ambling down Constitution Avenue, often not in lockstep with each other.
But the festivities ended with a genuinely impressive display of American firepower – a huge firework display next to the Washington monument.
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6. Millions were protesting against it
Thousands of protests filled streets across the United States at the same time as the parade, under the banner of “No Kings”.
Organisers said millions of Americans marched in hundreds of events, which largely passed without violence or incident.
Huge crowds marched, danced, drummed, and chanted shoulder-to-shoulder in New York, Denver, Chicago, Austin and Los Angeles.
Atlanta’s 5,000-capacity event quickly reached its limit, with thousands more gathered outside barriers to hear speakers in front of the state Capitol.
Officials in Seattle estimated that more than 70,000 people attended the city’s largest rally.
The demonstrations come on the heels of the protests over Trump’s mass deportation raids that began last week – and Trump ordering the National Guard and Marines to Los Angeles, where protesters blocked a freeway and set cars on fire.
“Today, across red states and blue, rural towns and major cities, Americans stood in peaceful unity and made it clear: we don’t do kings,” the No Kings Coalition said in a statement Saturday afternoon after many events had ended.
Thousands gathered in downtown LA, where organisers handed out small American flags and people carried protest signs saying “fight oligarchy” and “deport the mini-Mussolinis.”
7. The TV news split screens were far from ideal
While he made no mention of current events in his speech, the event came at the end of a fraught week for America.
Most will have seen Trump’s birthday parade on TV news, as a split-screen juxtaposed with either the manhunt for Minnesota assassinations suspect Vance Boelter, crowds howling in protest or missile strikes in Iran and Israel.
8. There were some…characters in the crowd
Donald Trump supporter wants US president to become King
The crowd was quite diverse – with a handful of people attending with “No Kings” banners and quite a lot of non-Trump supporting DC locals turning out for the spectacle.
But the largest contingent were MAGA die hards, many of whom had travelled hundreds of miles for their guy’s birthday.
Michael Neill, a 21-year Army veteran who travelled from New Hampshire for Trump’s birthday told the Mirror he thought the parade was “great.”
“I think it’s great that the Army after 250 years is having a parade in our nation’s capital,” he said. “That shows strength, but it also shows that we love our military.”
Mr Neill went on to say he believes President Trump won the 2020 election, and that Joe Biden was “executed for treason” while in office, and replaced by an actor.
“The movie Mission Impossible, the masks? Thats a real thing, folks,” he said. “Theres a lot of masks going on and we’re about to find out.”
Gregory, who came from New Jersey to the parade in a bright white shirt, suit and tie, said he was there to celebrate the birthday of “America’s dad – Donald J Trump.”
And some in the crowd wanted to see Trump stay in office longer than the constitution allows – much longer, in fact.
Asked if he wanted to see Trump’s name on the ballot in 2028, Edward X Young from New Jersey – who has attended 112 Trump rallies – said: “I hope so.”
But Rose, his friend from Pennsylvania, who wore a blue T-shirt bearing slogans related to the Q-Anon conspiracy theory, went further.
“I think Donald Trump is going to be the last President,” she said, adding she doesn’t think the 2028 election will take place.
“I think the Democrats have destroyed our democratic process with elections, Mr Young said.
“They’ve corrupted jt so bad. Let’s face it, this is the greatest President in the history of our country….I want Trump for king.”
Later, Rose asked me if I thought Princess Diana was still alive. She did not.