Benny, 31, says he thought he was just having fun – but he has been left with regrets
A man who claims he has slept with over 1,000 women says he regrets it. Benny James, 31, said “having the buzz around you and making money” is not worth the “dark hole” later down the line. The content creator from Croydon in south London, would sleep with numerous strangers every week over the course of a decade – hooking up by sliding into Twitter and Instagram DMs and going out to clubs four times a week to find women.
At the time he told himself – and others – that he was “just living life” and that it was “just a bit of fun”. But he said with hindsight he realises he was sleeping with so many women because he “didn’t really like being on his own”. He secretly suffered with anxiety, depression and at times could barely leave the house – turning to drugs and alcohol to boost his plummeting self esteem.
Benny, who has now “finally settled down” with a partner and cut out his excessive alcohol-intake, said he decided to change his ways after spending a lot of time alone during lockdown.
“With me, my friends and family saw me as ‘Jack the lad’ – going out, having fun. But deep down, it was affecting me without me knowing, until I hit rock bottom. It’ll just build and build and build up. And then when you want to sit back and have a normal life, it’s hard to do that.
“I had anxiety and depression from it.”
Benny now focuses on mental health activism – setting up the No More Waiting campaign which encourages government investment into treatment. He stressed how much strain that lifestyle can put on a person – particularly once they try to change. “I’m not one of them stereotypical Andrew Tate kind of guys, so for me, if you wanna have fun, have fun,” he said.
“As a guy, it’s brushed under the carpet a little bit. But for women, they’re looked upon differently. When you’re so used to having that attention and think of trying for a family life, it’s completely different. And I think a lot of people can’t handle that.
“People who have done the industry stuff, they can just spiral out of control. They don’t have no one around, and they can’t trust no one. I suffered bad anxiety, depression, and didn’t want to leave the house. So I turned to alcohol, drugs, splashing money, gambling, a lot, everything.
“But now I’ve kind of just found myself in a good place, and where I promote stuff for mental health and things now I get a lot of love back from it.”
Now, with his partner and new sense of stability, Benny says he has “found himself again”.