The seafood restaurant’s celebrity diners include David Beckham and Sam Heughan
How much are fish and chips worth? For me, the cost is time, not money – the trek to the east coast of Scotland where two chippies make food so good it’s life-affirming.
At Tailend and Cromar in St Andrews, succulent haddock is expertly battered and fried to a standard I’ve regrettably not discovered elsewhere — an incredibly light, ultra-crisp coating with frilly, jagged fried edges that audibly shatter into pieces. This masterpiece sits atop a bed of perfectly-sized chips that are crispy, fluffy, and creamy enough to convert a skinny-fries-only devotee like myself.
It’s the benchmark against which I judge all chippies. Once a local, I now reside in Glasgow, a 90-minute journey from chippy paradise. But thankfully, I have been asked to see if one £21 order of fish and chips justifies the cost.
Following a recent review of £18 fish and chips, I could only visit Crabshakk, Glasgow’s fashionable seafood restaurant that launched in Finnieston in 2009, before it transformed into the city’s culinary hotspot.
Its celebrity clientele have included the likes of David Beckham and Sam Heughan, reports the Express. Whilst it hasn’t been revealed what the Outlander star ate, Becks enthusiastically Instagrammed his way through his meal of scallops “cooked to perfection”, rollmops he claimed reminded him of his gran, and fish and chips.
Their latest venture, Crabshakk Botanics, is a sleek and stylish blend of industrial modernity with black fixtures, trailing vines, wood-panelled walls and floor-to-ceiling windows. My dining partner described the aesthetic as “very New York” – the type of place you’d bring out-of-town friends and family.
As someone who doesn’t have flexible working hours, I always wonder what others do for a living when I’m able to be out on a working day.
So it’s no surprise that on a weekday at noon, the other customers in this upmarket seafood restaurant are three tables of well-groomed, silver-haired patrons. Until a father and daughter duo arrive, we are the youngest by decades — a journalist enjoying a day off in lieu, accompanied by a friend working the backshift.
The menu is a seafood lover’s dream. Choose your creature — lobster, crab, scallops, langoustine, squid, Arbroath smokies — if you want it, they’ve got it. There sum total of non-fish main courses are steak frites and four vegan options.
My friend sticks to the complimentary sparkling water, and although I’m not working, I’ll be driving later, so a mocktail it is. I chose the Spicy Rita (£8), a coral-coloured drink with citrus, sweet and savoury flavours reminiscent of a tomato. Instead of a salt rim, black Himalayan salt lines circles one side of the glass, like a sandy bum on the beach.
The service here is polite and doesn’t linger. With a sparse crowd, our steaming hot plates of fried seafood and chips are served promptly.
So, my verdict on £21 fish and chips — quite good, but not worth the price. To start with the pros: they don’t scrimp on portion size, for one, and the chips are creamy and cooked well. It’s the fish (exact species unknown) of the fish and chips that falls a bit short.
While I wasn’t anticipating it to be the best of all time, the fried coating is thicker, darker and oilier than it should be. A quick glance at TripAdvisor reviews shows I’m not the first to think so. The creamy tartare sauce is good, but notably, it comes without peas — a shocking omission, especially at these prices.
Meanwhile, my friend has no regrets about ordering the breaded monkfish cheeks that come with skinny fries, salad and their restaurant’s own ketchup (£27), a condiment I found surprisingly addictive when I typically wish posh restaurant ketchup was Heinz.
We share a vegetarian main, a delightful tomato and watermelon salad (£9) with salsa verde. It’s sprinkled with what appears to be edible succulent leaves that provide a salty, juicy contrast.
The restaurant didn’t invite me for a review nor were they aware I was conducting one. Having footed the bill for the meal, I’m grimacing at the cost, but not terribly put out about it – it was by no means a bad meal.
I’m not opposed to a posh fish and chips, but personally, I’d hold off on my next craving until I can make my way to the East Neuk of Fife.