The viral TikTok trend testing loyalty amongst couples is setting them up for failure and dating expert Liam Turnball has revealed just how detrimental and manipulative the test is
The TikTok ‘loyalty test’ trend – which has gone viral with over 144.5K posts on the social media app – is damaging real relationships and breaking them up purely for viewers’ entertainment.
The test sees people online paying strangers to bait other people’s partners to check if they would cheat, reject or entertain them. The partner will then catch them in the act if guilty, and this would all be recorded racking up often millions of views online.
Liam Turnball, a relationship expert at TDM Agency, however warned people just how manipulative this test is and how it destroys many relationships. He said that the trend “might look entertaining online, but in reality, it’s rooted in insecurity,” as it’s not about trust, but essentially based on prevalent suspicions about your partner.
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Liam indicated that even “if your partner passes the test and shuts it down immediately, you’ve still violated a boundary.” It does not matter at that point whether or not they passed the ‘loyalty test’, as lines have been crossed.
He said: “If you feel the need to trap your partner to prove something, the relationship is already in trouble.” And if there was something wrong in your relationship then the viral trend is not the route to take.
There are lasting impacts from the test even if it has a positive outcome. “I’ve seen people come into therapy who now struggle to trust their partner again, even after they passed the loyalty test. Why? Because once you plant that seed of doubt, it’s very hard to unpick it. The person doing the testing becomes more paranoid, and the one being tested feels betrayed,” Liam said.
Both partners in the relationship face these long-lasting effects as a result of the loyalty test.
Due to the videos being posted on social media, viewers have watched messy arguments, breakups and sometimes even legal threats when private messages have been shown without permission. Liam highlighted how laws in the UK show that this potentially is “illegal” as their partners have been filmed or screenshots of messages have been shown without their knowledge.
The trend has gained popularity which according to Liam is not down to trust but instead insecurity, the pressure from social media and wanting public validation. Liam said people do not want to have “mature, vulnerable conversations with their partner” they instead turn “to content creation” which Liam warned is a “dangerous shift” from the former.
He urged for people feeling unsure about their partner’s loyalty to not resort to testing them but to try alternate methods: talking about it, asking for reassurance, seeking professional support. But he strongly said, “don’t bait your partner.” As that’s not the right way to go about it.
He also added that the creators of these videos are trying to conjure up drama by fabricating their content, fake chats, hired actors and edited screenshots, to gain more views and increased entertainment for viewers. Liam voiced that not “only are they potentially ruining real relationships, they’re also convincing others to follow a trend that’s built on lies.” And that there is no point in believing these creators.
Liam mentioned that partners should not test their significant others through traps but build that trust, “through honesty, consistency and communication.” He concluded that if people are “relying on a loyalty test to feel secure, it’s time to step back and ask why and whether this relationship is giving you the emotional safety you actually need.” And if not, to rethink that and consider what is best for you but not to use the loyalty test as providing you the answers you think you need.
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