A bridesmaid has turned to the internet for advice after the bride reacted poorly to her speech
A stunned bridesmaid has asked for feedback after upsetting her friend on her wedding day. Posting on Mumsnet, the guest explained she was asked to write a speech on behalf of the bridesmaids, and her friends approved it. Unfortunately, the bride hated the speech, prompting the bridesmaid to wonder if she’d crossed a line.
Explaining her side of the story in a social media post, she wrote: “I really need some perspective on this. Friend got married a few weeks ago. I was a bridesmaid and the groom asked me to make a speech. I hate public speaking so it was agreed I would write a speech and another bridesmaid would read it out on behalf of all 4 bridesmaids.”
The bridesmaid explained that she “worked so hard” on the speech and only had good intentions. “I’ve known the bride for years so had lots of sweet and touching anecdotes. I asked all her friends and family for suggestions including her step children and put in what I thought she would like including funny stories about how she met the groom,” she said.
Her post added: “The bride can be a bit unpredictable and can take herself quite seriously but is also very quirky and funny. I ran the speech past lots of people who know her well including my partner, the other bridesmaids and two mutual friends and they all said it was brilliant.”
The bride, however, didn’t enjoy the speech. The bridesmaid claimed: “The guests were all clapping and laughing so I thought the speech had gone down well, but the bride looked mortified. She later told me she hated it and I completely ruined her wedding. I was obviously really sad to hear that and apologised. I also told her how hard I worked on it and said a little bit of gentle teasing is normal for a wedding speech. She just walked off.”
While the bridesmaid thought the bride had moved on, she later messaged another bridesmaid that she was left “completely gutted” by the speech, as she feels “she was having a really classy wedding until the speech lowered the tone.”
Defending her speech, the bridesmaid continued: “Honestly, I felt the speech was so mild. The bride and groom are both in their 40s and this is his second marriage so the speech alluded to the bride having a bit of a past and being a party animal in her 20s. It mentioned a random celebrity she went on one date with in 2007. All her friends and the groom know about that but her parents didn’t.
“It said she loves bargains because she does. At my mum’s funeral I said my mum loved bargains and the bride said ‘I hope someone talks about me loving bargains at my funeral’ so I thought she would like that. The speech suggested the bride’s love of bargains may be why the wedding was on a Monday. I thought that was funny but she is particularly furious about that part, saying it makes her seem tight.”
The bridesmaid added that she felt the rest of the speech was affectionate, with “loving anecdotes about her being a great friend and kind step mum.” However, realising she needed to reach out, the bridesmaid contacted her friend.
“I messaged apologising that I’d got the speech so wrong but saying what I’ve said here, that it was very mild and she isn’t a beige and boring person so a beige and boring speech wouldn’t have suited her. She hasn’t replied so I don’t know what to do now. We are close and usually speak most days.”
Her post concluded: “I want to reach out again to make it up but I also feel she is being ridiculous. I’m really hurt that she hated the speech and didn’t acknowledge any of the lovely things I said. She isn’t speaking to the bridesmaid who read the speech out either. Could saying those things really have ruined her wedding?”
In response, social media users said they could understand both sides of the argument. Someone thought: “If she was that fussed about what was in the speech then she should have asked to read it herself before the wedding. You sound like a good friend who has put a lot of thought into your speech and I can understand your upset.”
A different comment said: “Actually I think I’m Team Bride. You didn’t have to allude to any of her past in your speech and you certainly shouldn’t have commented on her finances, whether jokingly or otherwise. It’s not a roast, it’s her wedding day.”