Being ‘Shrekked’ is the latest dating woe, and the phrase, coined by Gen Z may be one of the worst yet as it’s left people divided online over whether it’s true or not
There are so many dating buzzwords knocking about – from ghosting to breadcrumbing, cuffing and benching it can be hard to keep up. Now, Shrekking is currently doing the rounds on social media – and it’s not a term you want to hear when you’re dating someone.
While we may think of Shrek as a fairytale cartoon, his story is all about being the most unlikely of suitors and still getting the chance to fall in love and have a happily ever after. And applying the orge’s tale to the real world is just as harsh as it seems.
The term has been coined by Gen Z and refers to people ‘dating down’ and choosing someone ‘lower’ than their standards, in the hope of finding a suitor regardless of their looks. In turn, dating someone they see as less attractive or less desirable than themselves, but then still getting their heartbroken means they’ve been Shrekked.
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With Shrek becoming the mascot for dating woes, it’s the insult we never saw coming, and it’s diving people online, with many believing it’s a trend that needs to star Far Far Away.
If you drop your standards and date someone who is ‘punching’, you have the advantage, according to social media users. If you’re the ‘hotter’ one, you’re less likely to have your heart broken, as your partner will be so grateful to have you, apparently.
One woman took to TikTok to share her experience. Christina, who goes by the name @ChristinaOnConnection said: “So there is a new dating trend out, and you can now be Shrekked,” she told her followers.
She then confessed: “This is not new, I have been Shrekked many many times and let me tell you it is no fairy tale.” She then explained in the comments how it worked and said: “It’s when you lower your standards and go out with somebody that seemingly not good looking and then he does the dirty on you.”
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Christina captioned her video: “Forget ghosting… now it’s shrekking. Lower your standards ‘cause you feel bad, then they do you dirty just for the plot twist. 2025 dating is wild.”
Many TikTokers have shared their experiences, and thoughts on the trend as one woman said: “Literally twice now I’ve tried them out to see if there any different to the looker ones and my god they are the worst.” A second penned: “Stop giving men that you know are not worthy of you a chance. More than likely it will always end in you questioning your own life choices lol.”
While one person disagreed and chimed: “Why is this a thing? Sometimes the least good looking guys have big hearts the best looking guys are so full of themselves and that’s the same with lasses as well, give a good looking person a chance to cheat and they will, a not so good looking person is grateful for what they have.”
Relationship coach Amy Chan gave her verdict on the phrase and told USA Today: “In this plot line, you’re dating an ogre without the princess treatment. The term might be new, but the behaviour isn’t. Plenty of people have put looks lower on the list or hoped attraction would grow over time, and that in itself isn’t a bad thing.”
She further noted that it backfires for daters when someone assumes that just because they’re dating ‘down’ in looks, they’ll automatically be treated better. “For those who’ve been ‘shrekked,’ the goal isn’t to retreat back to only dating conventionally attractive people. It’s to develop better assessment skills for character, values and emotional availability regardless of what package they come in.
“Physical attraction matters in romantic relationships, but it shouldn’t be the inverse predictor of good treatment that some people assume it to be,” she said, and urged people to let it put you off people who you wouldn’t usually go for due to their looks.
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