A woman has revealed she spent a huge amount of money on her partner funding his lifestyle – all to discover how he really felt by reading his journal and his confession
After funding her partners lifestyle, and spending a whopping £75,000 on him over five years, one woman found out some hard truths about her partner that ‘broke’ her.
She explained how she was paying for Tom’s* phone bill, his gym membership and a laptop to name a few things, and was only left with betrayal in the end after coming across his journal.
The anonymous woman had met Tom in 2019 while they were both working in a pub and hit it off instantly and said how he “doted” on her once they were in a relationship, cooking, cleaning and making her feel special which is why she happily helped pay for him when he lost his job.
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Not realising at the time the extent of his financial dependency, she was left having to pay for them both, footing the bill for the rent, utility bills, food and social events – all averaging at around £1,200 – leaving her living “pay check to pay check” without Tom offering to pay anything back.
His phone bill was £50 a month and his new laptop had repayments of £600 a month, and then even started giving him money to go out with friends that averaged at around £150 a night, while her parents funded his driving lessons to “try and give him a fresh start”.
She would also pay for holidays, including a £2000 trip to Turkey, and weekends away – all things she didn’t feel like he was grateful for or never offered to pay back.
“Although he got a job in 2021, this was only after me threatening to break up with him if he didn’t. At this point, paying for everything was tiring, but it just felt routine at this point. I didn’t question it because I wanted to believe we were building a future together. I was scared to rock the boat by bringing it up. I’ve never liked confrontation and lacked confidence,” she told Metro.
After a few years, the couple moved up north for new jobs, and went back to splitting rent and bills 50/50. His new office job was going well, but the woman then revealed how he started spending a lot of time with a female colleague both inside and outside of work.
However when she confronted Tom about how she felt, he insisted they were just friends, she needed to get to the bottom of his new work friend and “acted on instinct” and read his journal, where she found a note in it that said about his female colleague “I think I love her”.
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“I confronted him, and he told me everything. He said he regretted it and he didn’t want to be with her – and I thought we could work through it. Tom quit the job and got a new one immediately and never spoke or saw her again. He made an effort and did everything I asked, which made me feel like maybe we could still make it,” she further detailed.
But while he constantly apologised, she wasn’t convinced and decided to walk away, which is when she realised how much he financially depended on her.
“It wasn’t until I was removed from the chaos that I started tallying up everything I’d spent. Old bank statements, direct debits, subscriptions such as Netflix, Spotify, his phone bill still in my name – everything added up alarmingly fast. Over £75,000. That’s a house deposit. A life-changing sum. Looking back, I think the financial dependency crept in so slowly that I didn’t notice.”
Now moving on, she has needed to do a “lot of work” to recover from investing £75,000 into a future that “no longer exists”, but is happier and “feeling hopeful” again.
*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.
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