A relationship and break-up coach has shared the three red flags you should look out for that may signify your relationship may be over, even if you aren’t ready to break up
A break-up coach has warned people that if these three things are happening in their relationship, then it may be time to call it quits. If you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a long time, it’s normal for things to change and for you to grow as a couple. If you live together, you may get into your little routines, and if you don’t, you may be regularly making time for each other to meet up and enjoy one another’s company.
But Paige Moyce, relationship and break-up coach, said that if your partner or relationship exhibits these behaviours, they’re red flags – and could mean it’s time to part ways.
1. Avoidant communication style
Paige said that if your “communication style is to avoid arguments” and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, this is “a recipe for disaster.”
She said: “If before you communicate something that’s important to you, or emotionally driven, you have to be mindful of when you say it and how you say it, and this person’s mood before you say it, and you get anxious and have to walk on eggshells for daring to communicate something that’s emotional or important, this is not healthy in the absolute slightest”.
Paige likened this to “burying a bomb” as you bury your own feelings and your needs, because you’re petrified that your partner will leave you.
“How long is this sustainable for? It depends on how long you want to cling to barbed wire and bleed. But ultimately, if you are having to self-edit and audit yourself to that point to try and keep this person happy, this relationship is heading for disaster,” she claimed.
2. If you could leave tomorrow, you would
Paige said that she often asks her clients, “If there was a magic wand and there was no consequence, and you didn’t have to worry about anything or anyone, and you could leave, and you could be happy outside of this relationship, would you do it?”
She said that if the “answer is yes, then you’re probably already exhausted” and you’ve tried to “fix” things loads already.
Paige said: “Everyone has a tipping point, and when you reach that tipping point in your relationship, it’s very, very hard to come back.
“When there are catalogues of things that you are just expected to get over, and not talk about, it’s a recipe for disaster”.
3. There’s no warmth in the relationship
Paige explained that this could “look like physical intimacy,” or it could be trust, being able to be vulnerable, but if there isn’t “warmth” anymore, it could mean the relationship is doomed.
Especially if there’s no “teamwork” or “togetherness” that there “once was.
“And no matter how much you try to fight for that, it just feels like this person is not meeting you halfway,” she said.
Paige continued: “This is often a sign that the relationship is over, because in order to reignite that warmth, and in order to have the warmth back in the relationship, on whatever level it may be missing, that takes two.
“One person cannot light that match themselves. That has to be a team effort. And if a person isn’t leaning in with you in their own way, then you’re in a relationship with no warmth”.