BRIAN READE: The North does not need Northern Arc gimmicks… the South will soon come begging

While the South has billions lavished on it, joining up Liverpool, Manchester, Sheffield and Leeds still remains a dream, Brian Reade argues. But the North holds all the cards when it comes to keeping them well watered

Northern leaders were in London this week armed with begging bowls and arguments about why their people hold the key to growth. Metro mayors like Andy Burnham and Steve Rotheram told parliament of their plan for a “Northern Arc” in which Liverpool, Manchester, Sheffield and Leeds are joined up via modern transport links to form one huge economy, which would bring an extra £90billion in growth by 2040.

But don’t expect much of a response as we’ve been here before with John Prescott’s “Northern Way” and George Osborne’s “Northern Powerhouse” and it all went south. Literally. As the North hobbles along on Victorian railway lines and HS2 hits the buffers at Birmingham, London’s airports, Tube and Overground systems have had billions lavished on them.

And it feels that this perpetual sidelining of the North will only get worse, especially as a Labour government decides a growth corridor between Oxford and Cambridge is the nation’s priority.

But ever the optimist, I see some hope. In Mark Carney’s victory speech, when the Canadian PM warned America to keep its sights off “our land, our resources, our water”. Think about that final word. Canadians realise that as the world continues to boil, and Donald Trump continues to dig, baby, dig, water will become the new liquid gold and Washington will need to see it gushing down south in pipelines from rainy Canada.

Following the premise that what America does today Britain does tomorrow, how soon before London, currently baking in its hottest ever start to May, thinks the same. The Environment Agency this week predicted that South East England faces a 2.5 billion-litre daily shortfall in its water supply within 25 years, which is nearly half of its current daily consumption.

Can you imagine the havoc that will cause in Weybridge and Sevenoaks (where all the nation’s decision-makers reside) as they stare at brown, lifeless gardens, debating whether to tell the staff to use up emergency supplies of bottled Acqua Panna? Think of the horror in Ascot kitchens as the barista machine, like the outside Jacuzzi, cannot function. How will the people of Tring get rid of bird crap on their BMWs? How will Surrey golf courses cope if bores can’t tell the difference between the fairway and the green, or access ice for their 19th-hole G&Ts?

Imagine the shame when the drought police make dawn raids in Tunbridge Wells to round up those found filling their swimming pools? Of course, we know what will happen. Westminster will sanction the emergency laying of pipes from Scotland, Snowdonia, the Lakes and the Pennines, to get water to the people who really matter.

Which is when Northern leaders, who will finally hold all the cards, should refuse to comply and threaten to sabotage any pipelines. Then demand that if the South wants their liquid gold they should come and get it. By moving up here, bringing their wealth, investment, firms, jobs, transport systems and yachts. By relocating Westminster, Whitehall, the BBC, the City, even the King.

Then finally our leaders won’t need to go to London with begging bowls selling gimmicks like the Northern Arc to the permanently disinterested. Because the North will be one huge arc floating on our God-given water and we can tell Southern decision-makers if they accept our demands we’ll let them climb aboard, two by two.

The future’s dry. The future’s Northern.