Being forced to wear clothes you hate is bad enough, but when they don’t even save your modesty then you could be right in trying to get out of them as soon as possible
A woman has asked other social media users if she was wrong to change out of her bridesmaid dress that she had hated wearing into something more comfortable. She said that she was the biggest of the girls being bridesmaids with an XL, 38 H chest, but that the other girls were really thin and looked great in their dresses.
She told fellow posters on Reddit that the dress chosen by her 23-year-old sister-in-law was a dark blue baby doll-style dress, the kind where it looks like a high neck halter in the front but it’s the same in the back, with really thin straps that are right next to your neck and shows a whole lot of shoulder and did not cover her “downstairs area”. She tried to get a seamstress to alter it but there wasn’t enough fabric.
The fearful 25-year-old was not amused at the choice and said she just wouldn’t go but when the bride-to-be got her family to cajole her and suggested she wear shorts underneath, she reluctantly agreed. She said: “Day of, we were getting ready and I put on my shorts so my underwear wouldn’t show. Sister-in-law freaked and said they showed under the dress and I couldn’t wear them and stop being dramatic.
“The other bridesmaids looked sympathetic but didn’t say anything. So I took off the shorts and held the hem as I walked, and the flowers low. I hid in the back of all the photos and the groomsman who walked the aisle with me held my elbow instead of lacing arms so I could still hold my hem and my bouquet.
She said that right after the photos and the ceremony, and with permission from the bride and groom from the day before, she changed into a different outfit, the same colour but longer. But when her sister-in-law saw her she started to have a row, claimed she was ruining the wedding, and told her to leave.
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The distraught bridesmaid added: “I didn’t have a car with me, so I just sat outside the venue until the reception ended so as to not upset her further. She now has a photo from the ceremony hanging on her wall, and I’ve been photoshopped out of it completely.
“I am autistic and not the best in social situations, so I really don’t know if I’m being dramatic, or if I should have just said no to being in the wedding even through the pressure of my family… and when I told my parents and brother when we are all together one night that the whole situation made me feel pretty bad, they all said that I was being dramatic. Maybe my sister-in-law just wanted to forget it happened and that’s why she photoshopped me out of the photo. Am I the AH? What do I do?”
Other posters on the site were shocked that she was treated so badly, with one saying: “God one look as a bigger woman and I would have said absolutely never. That’s a loose shirt on anyone more than a B cup,” while another said her brother was as bad as his new bride: “That’s a freaking long dress top, not a dress. Sister-in-law did it all on purpose and, for whatever reason, does not like you (ableism and bullying might be a simple explanation). Your brother is just as much an a****** as sister-in-law for not protecting his sister from that crap, especially since he was right next to her when she kicked you out of the reception for trying to protect your modesty in a dress you should have never been forced to wear.”