The Mirror’s US editor, Christopher Bucktin, reports on the best of the most bizarre it-could-only-happen-in-the-USA stories in his weekly The Buck Stops Here column…
Just when you think Republican politics can’t get any more unhinged, along comes William Braddock – a Florida congressional candidate who thought the path to Capitol Hill involved hiring a Russian-Ukrainian hit squad.
The 41-year-old was sentenced to three years in federal prison after pleading guilty to threatening to murder rival Anna Paulina Luna, his opponent in the 2021 GOP primary.
On a recorded call, Braddock went complete Bond villain, saying, “I’ll be the next congressman for this district. Period. End of discussion. And anybody going up against me is f****** ignorant for doing so. (Luna’s) ignorant, so I don’t have a problem taking her out, but I’m not going to do that dirty work myself, obviously.”
He then fled to the Philippines before eventually surrendering in Manila last year.
Meanwhile, Luna was re-elected, proving that voters prefer politicians who campaign with lawn signs, not foreign hitmen.
What a bummer
A Rhode Island couple shelled out £480 for a limited-edition Trump watch, but what arrived was a golden tribute to… Rump.
Tim Petit bought the bling from “gettrumpwatches.com” as a gift for his wife, only to discover the “T” had gone AWOL. Instead of honouring the president, the label proudly declared allegiance to someone’s backside.
Luxury? Sure. Presidential? Not quite.
Run risk of jail
Most 5Ks require good shoes and stretchy shorts. This one just requires courage… and maybe a little sunscreen.
Tracksuits are optional at the Carolina Foothills Resort’s Buck Creek Streak on June 14, but birthday suits are strongly encouraged.
So far, a record 161 runners have signed up to let it all hang out for the clothing-optional trail race at the nudist resort in northern Spartanburg County.
“You can go anywhere and do a 5K, but you can’t go anywhere and run a 5K naked,” said Tom Crowder, a lifelong nudist and board member at the resort. “If you go to the turkey trot and drop your drawers, you’re probably gonna be arrested.”
Breaking waters
New York news anchor Olivia Jaquith went into labour just before going live – but like a true pro, she chose headlines over hospital beds.
“We do have some breaking news this morning, literally,” co-anchor Julia Dunn quipped. “Olivia’s water has broken, and she is anchoring the news now in active labour.”
“Early labour,” Jaquith calmly clarified, still smiling.
She finished the entire broadcast before even thinking about contractions.
Meteorologist Craig Adams joked he might need to carry her to the hospital himself – forecast: 100 per cent chance of baby.
Jelly tots
Snack time got a bit more spirited than usual at a Pennsylvania kindergarten after a student reportedly handed out Jell-O shots to classmates.
The Greater Johnstown School District confirmed the boozy mix-up, saying one kid shared the alcoholic treats with three others.
Staff intervened quickly, and the youngsters were checked by the school nurse before being taken to the hospital “out of an abundance of caution”.
Superintendent Dr Amy Arcurio called it an “isolated incident.” However, local authorities are now trying to figure out how a five-year-old got hold of party supplies usually reserved for college spring break.
Onion tears
A Texas man is taking Whataburger to court after a surprise ingredient left him with a not-so-happy meal.
Demery Ardell Wilson filed a lawsuit in Harris County, claiming the burger chain was negligent when it served him onions, despite his no-onion request, which triggered an allergic reaction and sent him seeking medical care.
According to the suit, Wilson says Whataburger “failed to act in accordance with the appropriate standard of care,” which apparently includes listening when someone says, “Hold the onions.”
For his upset, Wilson wants just under $1 million.
Whataburger denied Wilson’s allegations in a separate court document filed on May 16, demanding “strict proof” of his assertions.