Inspector Stephen Foster gives the Mirror a brutally honest account of his battle with anxiety as part of an NHS drive to help people back to work
A top cop has told how he used to hide in the toilets at work thinking “please don’t ring me” due to crippling anxiety.
Inspector Stephen Foster has given a brutally honest account of his battles with anxiety as part of an NHS drive to help people using mental health services back to work. Father-of-two Stephen, who has been in the police for 21 years, told the Mirror that “previously a lot of people thought I was on the fast track, maybe going all the way to the top, but my mental health changed that”.
Around 1.2 million people in England use NHS mental health services each year.
An increasing proportion of these patients are also using the NHS’s Employment Advice service to liaise with employers when they are off sick. Stephen, 43, from Cleethorpes, Lincolnshire, told how its critical intervention helped him save his job after a promotion pushed him over the edge.
Today we publish Stephen’s inspiring account of his rise-fall-and-rise through the ranks at Humberside Police after confronting his demons with the help of NHS counsellors.
Stephen Foster’s Story
“I’m a police officer and I’ve been in the job for 21 years now. Many years ago I temporarily achieved the rank of Inspector, a couple of ranks up. In that role, you’re in charge of the town. So when you’re on duty, you’re responsible for all the 999 calls, the staff – you’re the duty Inspector for the base. There’s quite a lot of responsibility. If a murder comes in, you’re the first point of call.
“I did that role for a year and a half, and everything went well. But it was a temporary post. After that period, I stepped back down to Detective Sergeant, which suited my life at the time. A few years later, I became a Custody Sergeant, booking prisoners in and out.
“Then I was given another opportunity to be a temporary Inspector again. Now, bear in mind, I’d done the job for the best part of two years before. But this time, the way they were messing around with my shifts, now that I had a family, it caused me a lot of stress at home. It made me really, really anxious and I struggled to do the job. There were times when I was in charge of the town, but I was hiding in the toilets with the radio, thinking: ‘Please don’t ring me. Please don’t ring me. Please don’t ring me.’
“It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it – I can do the job – but the anxiety took over massively. So I stepped back down and returned to the Sergeant’s role. I stayed in that role for years.
“Previously, a lot of people thought I was on the fast track, maybe going all the way to the top. But my mental health, specifically anxiety, changed that. Rather than confronting it, I pushed it aside.
“Later on, I found myself in a comfortable role in the custody suite where I didn’t have to worry about being on patrol or getting promoted. But at the back of my mind, I always feared they’d move me back outside or into a more senior role. And one day, that fear came true.
“I was at home, preparing packed lunches for the next day, and an email came through saying they were rotating people out of custody. That’s when I had my first panic attack. I’d never had one before. So I signed myself off work and that forced me to confront everything.
“While I was off, I reached out to the NHS and they connected me with an Employment Advisor. She asked me: ‘What do you want?’ I said I didn’t want to be off work. I wanted to return, but only if certain adjustments could be made. She said: ‘Well, have you asked for that?’ And I said no. That’s when she offered to be an advocate between me and my employer.
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“Because at that point, the employer can almost seem like the enemy. You think they’re trying to force you back, that they don’t care. That’s part of the paranoia when you’re in that headspace. So having someone independent was key, partly to listen and understand, but also to hold me accountable. When the employer says ‘we just want you to come back’ you question their motives.
“But when a third party says: ‘Actually Steve, I think going back would be good for these reasons,’ it hits differently. They’re not forcing you. They have no vested interest other than helping you get better. That advocate wrote a letter to work explaining that I wanted to come back. We negotiated adjustments and I returned.
“It really opened my eyes because I manage people too. When someone goes off sick, they can begin to see their line manager as the enemy – even if you’re just trying to help. People might assume you have ulterior motives. That’s why having that neutral third party is so valuable.
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“Eventually, I returned to work. The support I received helped me re-establish routine and normality. That, combined with the counselling, meant I didn’t need to wait to return until therapy was finished. And now, earlier this year, I got promoted officially to Inspector. I’m now doing the very job that used to cause me intense anxiety. Without all of this, I’d still be hiding in the custody suite, hoping no one noticed me.
“Now, thanks to the Employment Advisor and counselling, I’m in a much better place. I’m very open about my mental health with everyone – senior officers, peers, junior officers.
“Just the other day, I spoke to a high-risk missing person on the phone. We were looking for him and I rang him and had a half-hour chat. I said: ‘Look mate, I’m in charge of the police right now on the South Bank and I’ve had the same thoughts you’re having. I’ve been where you are. So please don’t think it’s not normal. It is. And there’s help.’
“That openness helps break the stigma. We’ve got a lot of mental health issues in the police. Not as bad now, but there’s still that old mentality. People don’t want to be seen as weak so they hide it.
“I try to be really open, especially because I know what it’s like. There was an officer the other day showing signs of struggling. I kept gently digging until I realised how serious it was. I ended up taking him our local mental health support and I stayed with him for six hours while he got seen. He was willing to open up because I was open with him. And now he’s getting the help he needs.
“I actively encourage people to seek help. Never be ashamed. If you had a broken leg or Covid would you hide it? No. So if something’s wrong with your brain, why should that be different? It’s the same. It can be treated. It can be supported. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
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NHS Employment Support
Some 1.2 million people accessed NHS talking therapies in England last year. Among those a growing minority are also accessing employment support like that received by Inspector Foster.
Employment advisors can help people find a job, stay in a job, or return to work following a sickness absence. They can assist with CVs, job applications, interview skills, career advice as well as negotiating reasonable adjustments with employers. Latest NHS data shows a 60% surge in patients using this employment support in the last year, from 31,000 in 2023/24 to 49,000 2024/25.
Dr Adrian James, Medical Director for Mental Health at NHS England, said: “Record numbers of people are getting employment support through the service alongside their treatment because we know that having a job and purpose to your day can have a massive impact on your mental health, while also helping to reduce isolation and gain confidence. It’s fantastic to hear how Steve has thrived since receiving NHS support and even gained a promotion since returning to work.
“So, if you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, please come forward by self-referring yourself online at nhs.uk or you can speak to your GP practice.”