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A relationship therapist has revealed the biggest reason Gen Z are in a serious sex drought – and it’s something most of us are guilty of. She’s shared her top tips for getting your spark back
An expert has revealed that we’re in a sex drought crisis – and it may be down to one lifestyle habit.
After a long day at work, it’s so easy to find yourself vegging out on the sofa or rotting in bed. And and having a little scroll on TikTok or Instagram may help you unwind from the day. But doomscrolling is what’s causing a lack of libido for Gen Z, according to sex experts.
A recent study has revealed that young people are having less sex than ever, and it turns out that many are seeking validation online, rather than from their partners – putting an end to bedroom antics.
Leigh Norén is a sex therapist, sexologist, and relationship coach and she notes that people often look for quick fixes to stimulate their minds – which has led to forgetting how to “revel in pleasure”. The expert tells The Mirror: “People often feel bored in their relationships and stressed in general in life. We’re all stretched thin, and as a result, we’ve forgotten how to seek out and experience pleasure. Instead, we look for quick fixes and ways to dissociate, like scrolling through reels, watching memes, and indulging in junk food.
“It’s like we’ve all forgotten how to truly be and revel in pleasure overall, not just sexual pleasure. Life is so demanding nowadays that we often choose quick escapes instead of meaningful exchanges with our partner – therapists included!”
She says there are a number of reasons why sex drives have fallen off a cliff. “In some ways Gen Z has redefined what sex means, whereas there used to be very strict, limiting ideas about for instance heterosexual vaginal penetrative sex being the only kind of ‘real’ sex and everything else being dubbed as foreplay,” Leigh explained.
The expert said Gen Z folk often associate sex with “something broader” including petting as well as sexting. Leigh added: “Gen Z have grown up in a time where we’re constantly surrounded by technology. This means they’re seldom bored, and instead of connecting with one another sexually as people might have done in the past, they might turn to their phones for some instant kicks instead. There’s simply so much more to do than just have sex.”
This theory was echoed by Tracey Cox, who told Daily Mail: “Sex was a form of entertainment for previous generations. Something fun to do. We all watched television, once it was available, but it was controlled: limited content within a limited time frame. Gen Z grew up streaming entire series whenever they fancied. The ‘Netflix effect’ isn’t just affecting young people’s sex lives – all generations say access to streaming has affected the amount of sex they have.”
But social media could also be harming our sex lives in other ways too. With so many filtered and edited photos online, we’re living in a society riddled by comparison culture – and it’s affecting our self-esteem. Tracey highlighted that younger women may avoid sex as they worry they “don’t look the part” while many young men may avoid it due to worrying they won’t be able to “deliver” the performance that they’re conviced women want.
For those who have realised there has been a decline in the bedroom, Leigh shared her top tips for getting back on track and suggested: “Reduce stress through cuddling with your partner, and then incorporate more intimate sexual touch”.
She also said that taking your partner out – or planning a cosy date night in – is a great way to start reigniting the flame. “Go on a date night and decide that practicalities are off limits, instead, reminisce about the first time you met and what drew you to one another sexually.”
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