The dating specialist believes the phrase is a warning sign that indicates you’re likely to get your feelings hurt
No two relationships are the same, and what works for one couple might not be best for another. That said, there are some red flags that experts often agree spell trouble regardless, and if you spot one, you might wish to reconsider your relationship.
According to Louanne Ward, a matchmaker and coach from Australia, there’s a six-word phrase that signals your romance is likely to end in heartbreak. The expert told Daily Mail Australia that it could be a “warning” if someone says: “I don’t want to hurt you.” While some people might think the phrase offers reassurance, Louanne sees things differently.
“When somebody says, ‘I don’t want to hurt you’, what they’re really saying is they believe you have more feelings for them than what they have for you,'” she claimed. “It means they’re not fully invested, they know you care more than they do and they’re laying the groundwork to excuse their future bad behaviour.”
She suggested that partners might use the phrase to spare themselves from future guilt, as they might consider that giving you a heads-up is doing the right thing by you. Louanne suggested: “The simple fact is, if somebody doesn’t see you as a potential long-term partner and doesn’t have strong enough feelings for you, they can see that they can potentially hurt you.”
Her advice is to listen carefully if someone shares a warning and to look after yourself. There might be other signs that a relationship is drawing toward a conclusion.
For instance, Paige Moyce, a relationship and break-up coach, has shared three signs that could indicate it’s time to part ways. First, she turned her attention to couples who feel like they’re walking on eggshells around each other.
“If before you communicate something important to you, or emotionally driven, you have to be mindful of when you say it and how you say it, and this person’s mood before you say it, and you get anxious and have to walk on eggshells for daring to communicate something emotional or important, this is not healthy in the absolute slightest,” she shared.
“How long is this sustainable for? It depends on how long you want to cling to barbed wire and bleed. But ultimately, if you have to self-edit and audit yourself to that point to try and keep this person happy, this relationship is heading for disaster.”
Next, Paige said it could be helpful to ask yourself: “If there was a magic wand and there was no consequence, and you didn’t have to worry about anything or anyone, and you could leave, and you could be happy outside of this relationship, would you do it?”
Finally, a relationship without “warmth” could be a red flag if it feels like your partner is not meeting you halfway. While “warmth” might mean something different for everyone, such as physical or emotional intimacy, the expert says this could be an indicator.
“This is often a sign that the relationship is over, because to reignite that warmth, and to have the warmth back in the relationship, on whatever level it may be missing, that takes two,” she claimed.