Davina McCall and boyfriend Michael Douglas share an unusual way of how they deal with emotional moments
Davina McCall has revealed the unusual way she and partner Michael Douglas choose to comfort each other – often waiting until their tears have stopped falling before hugging.
Many couples would embrace the minute their partner starts to cry. But Davina, who recently had a brain tumour removed, says she and Michael address pain and emotion in a different way.
The ITV star describes it as the pair “hold space” for each other and think it is important to feel their emotions and to let them out. In a new interview, Davina says: “Michael does for me… he holds space for me. He holds space for me to feel my feelings, even if they really freak him out or they frighten him. He is not codependent in any way. It’s so nice.
“He’s taught me so much around that, like… me and him, if he needs to feel something, I don’t hug him. I don’t try and take it away from him. I go, ‘Feel it’.
“And he did the same for me around this. So, if I was crying, he’d sit with me next to me, but he wouldn’t touch me or hug me. He would go, “Feel it.” And I would let it out. And then at the end, he’d give me an enormous hug.”
Davina also spoke fondly about Michael helping her through her journey with the brain tumour. Talking to Steven Bartlett on the Begin Again podcast, she adds: “He said to me that day when I was really upset that, ‘You know, I’ve been in training for this moment. I’ve been… I’ve been learning how to step up to when you… for when you need me. And I’m ready. I’ve got you’.”
Davina and hairdresser Michael began dating in 2019 and have discussed marriage. He has been a huge support as she faced up to having the tumour removed at the end of last year. Davina, star of shows including Long Lost Family and The Masked Singer, found the colloid cyst by chance when she was given a free health scan after giving a talk on the menopause.
She then had to decide when to have it removed as there were risks with the operation but if she didn’t remove the tumour “very rarely it can also cause sudden death”. Davina then describes how she felt the tumour “had taken hold of me” and that initially made her angry because it made her feel “every day like I’m in danger”.
But she learned to live with it, calling the tumour Jeffrey as a coping mechanism. She even threw parties for Jeffrey to downplay the signifigance of what the tumour meant and to try to stay upbeat. Davina then had to decide when to have the operation and to fully understand the risks involved.
She spoke to partner Michael about her own mortality “quite quickly” and began to make plans. Davina explains: “I said, ‘Look, I’ve got to plan for it if it doesn’t go according to plan’.
“When I’d spoken to the doctors, they talked about things like stroke, epilepsy, these being risks. Nicking an artery or a blood vessel in the brain and having a bleed… so there were a lot of things that could be a risk. And obviously, because of my age, you know, I’m fifty-seven.
“That was another thing that mattered to me. I was thinking, you know, ‘Would you rather have brain surgery now, or if it grew in eight years’ time, would you want to have it in your mid-to-late sixties? Would it not be better to get it done now while you’re fit and healthy in every other way?” So yes, we had that talk quite soon. And I did go and address my will and make sure that was airtight. I talked to Michael about my wishes. I wrote letters of wishes to all the children and put those in my will.
“And I made sure that when I went to sleep before the operation, I could trust in Kevin(O’Neill, her neurosurgeon) and let go of the outcome. And I really got there. Like, I really went to sleep and thought, ‘Everything will be okay, whatever happens.’ And it felt like I’d climbed a mountain, but it was a good mountain to climb, you know? Like, I really meant it.”
* Brand new episodes of Begin Again drop Thursdays at 8am GMT wherever you get your podcasts.
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