Experts have weighed in on the ways to make sure an age-gap relationship works, and urged all daters to make sure they discuss one important topic before taking their relationship further
While age-gap relationships aren’t uncommon, they can sometimes come with judgement from others looking in. But according to experts that as long as everything is legal, there is no reason why people with different ages shouldn’t be together – as long as they are both on the same page about values.
Experts also believe that there are key topics partners should discuss from the onset when getting into an age-gap relationship, with the most important topic being about family plans and discussing kids.
Counsellor Sedef Salim said we ‘can’t choose’ who we fall in love with, but said he has seen couples struggle with age differences.
READ MORE: ‘I’m 22 and moved in with 73-year-old – it’s very different to what I expected’
“In my work, age gaps that resemble parental age differences, or different generations, can create complications that breed problems over time. There might be children from former marriages that are the same age as our new partners,” she told Metro. So she advised there are some key things people should consider.
READ MORE: ‘Wife admitted she had a fling years ago but I can’t move on from it’
“For instance, conversations around having children together might be a complex subject to navigate. Has your partner (who is older) already had, and raised their children from a previous relationship? Does your partner feel at a comfortable and responsible age to start that process all over again with you? Or perhaps your partner’s age may impact their fertility? Perhaps the concern is more around health implications.”
READ MORE: ‘My toyboy wants to meet someone his own age – but I don’t want our relationship to end’
But while she notes these topics can be tricky to cover, it doesn’t change the fact that having these discussions are “pretty vital” if you want the relationship to work. However she said if there is love, trust, acceptance and responsibility for the implications that could happen in the relationship, the ideal age gap can “mean different things to each unique couple”.
While psychotherapist and author Toby Ingham said it’s difficult to pinpoint an exact ‘perfect age gap’ for a couple, he said the old idea that you should ‘halve your age plus seven’ was the guide to a younger age partner may now be outdated.
“From one point of view, we might prefer that our partners were peers – contemporaries of us. That if the gap was too big there would be problems in terms of cultural values, interest, etc. Now, the [societal] accent being on inclusivity and normalising difference might eradicate such ideas.”
READ MORE: Rimmel’s new ‘shiny but not sticky’ lip gloss offers juicy tint in six shades