Samaritans, a charity dedicated to preventing suicide, has shared important advice for anyone preparing to speak to someone they believe may be suicidal or exhibiting poor mental health.
Broaching a conversation with someone you think may be contemplating suicide is a delicate and difficult task. But speaking openly with them about their thoughts is a vital first step to saving their life.
Samaritans, a charity dedicated towards preventing suicide is urging those who think someone may be suicidal to take action and show them you care. While instigating a conversation about suicidal ideation and mental health issues feels like it could be triggering, the charity says you shouldn’t be afraid to ask someone struggling how they’re feeling.
According to the charity’s guidance: “Talking about suicide won’t make it more likely to happen, but it can be the first step to keeping someone safe”.
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You will be able to tell if the person you are speaking to is not comfortable or ready to have a conversation about their intrusive thoughts. If that’s the case, you can still let them know you are there for them.
Create a safe space
Whether you are preparing to speak to a friend, child, parent or colleague considering suicide, the first step to dialogue is creating a safe, quiet space “where they feel listened to and not judged”. Make eye contact, put your phone away and try to give them your full attention – which may take practice.
Listen actively
Listening actively will help you build trust, and keep in mind that it may take them time to articulate their thoughts. Repeating something back to someone is a really good way to let them know you’re listening.
In their official guidance on how to offer support, Samaritans says to start by asking open questions like ‘How have you been feeling lately?’. Try not to ask questions that lead to a particular, generic response like ‘Have you had a bad week?’ When listening to their response, it’s important that you stay calm, take their feelings seriously and, most importantly, listen without interrupting them.
“Once someone starts to share how they’re feeling, it’s important to listen,” stresses Samaritans. “This could mean not offering advice, not trying to identify what they’re going through with your own experiences and not trying to solve their problems.”
Make space for your own emotions
You should also take time during the conversation to make space for your own difficult emotions and remember you don’t have to fill every silence.
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Signs someone is struggling
Some general signs that someone you know may be struggling can include: exhibiting restlessness, anger or tearfulness; lacking energy; drastically changing their sleeping and eating routine or talking about feeling hopeless or helpless.
If you’re worried about someone online because of the way they’re acting or the things that they’re posting, you can: offer them support if you feel comfortable, tell someone you trust or report it on the platform.
What to do in an emergency situation
In an emergency situation, Samaritans says engaging a suicidal person in dialogue can help ‘burst the bubble’ of dissociative thinking. Research shows that when people are close to the point of attempting suicide, they might feel disassociated to the world around them – like they are in a bubble – and may sometimes not even show any visible signs of distress.
You can help burst the bubble by talking to them to help draw their attention back to the world around them. For example, asking simple questions that allow them to feel present and validated without talking about why they are feeling the way they do.
If someone has hurt themselves and you think their injuries are life-threatening, call an ambulance on 999. You can do this whether you are with them in person or not. You will need to be able to give a location.
For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email [email protected], visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
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