Caroline Cray Quinn, 25, lives with mast cell activation syndrome meaning her cells incorrectly identify this as severe allergens forcing her to have a restrictive diet
A woman who lives with severe food allergies has revealed she just about able to manage a love life – insisting on several strict rules that dates must follow before kissing.
Caroline Cray Quinn has mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), an immune disease that causes her cells to incorrectly identify things as severe allergens – including all but two foods. The 25-year-old lives off of just oats and hypoallergenic formula, with any other foods proving life-threatening by causing difficulty breathing, swelling and loss of consciousness.
As a result, the young woman has to give potential love interests a list of strict rules to abide by in order for them to kiss – which she detailed in a TikTok which has gone viral with 1.7 million views. “In order for someone to kiss me, they cannot eat anything three hours prior,” Caroline, a healthcare recruiter from Boston, US, told NeedToKnow.
“They also cannot eat any of my six main anaphylactic allergens – peanuts, nuts, sesame, mustard, seafood or kiwi – 24 hours prior to kissing me. And they have to brush their teeth before kissing me.”
Her MACS specialist gave her the rules after she asked the “unconventional and awkward” question of ‘can I kiss a boy’. She was then given the three “prerequisites” for dates to follow prior to being able to kiss.
Caroline said: “It has pretty much been smooth sailing with those rules, but I’ve had a handful of minor reactions while kissing somebody or after kissing somebody. My mouth will get itchy, my lips and my tongue will get itchy, and as soon as I feel that I immediately stop and let them know that I’m feeling reactive.
“If need be, I brush my teeth immediately and take some emergency medication. It’s never really progressed past a bit of flushing and some head rush.”
Caroline currently has a boyfriend, Ryan, who gladly abides by the rules, and has taken to enjoying the same meals as her when they are together. While she is heavily limited, using just oats, the hypoallergenic formula, water and salt to build meals, Caroline has proved crafty in the kitchen, whipping up oat cookies and crackers, oat waffles and pancakes, cereal (baked oat granola chunks with formula milk) and ‘ice cream sundaes’ comprised of oat waffle cones and formula-made ice cream.
Caroline was diagnosed with MACS in 2017 but had severe food allergies growing up. She said: “I’ve had severe food allergies to peanuts, nuts, sesame, mustard, and kiwi since I was two years old, but other than that I was perfectly healthy.
“I got sick with MCAS in September of 2017 after one true allergic reaction to cross-contamination with nuts spiralled into a series of anaphylactic episodes to foods I wasn’t allergic to. My allergist at the time suspected it could be MCAS but needed me to see a specialist in order to get the proper diagnosis.
“After a long wait list of eight months, I saw an MCAS specialist who officially diagnosed me. [The condition] presents in a lot of uncomfortable and life-threatening symptoms like difficulty breathing, swelling/itchiness in throat and mouth, loss of consciousness, low blood pressure, and hives/rashes.
“In order to avoid MCAS flare-ups and MCAS symptoms, I avoid triggers like food, animal fur/dander, mould, dust, heat, and certain smells.” Despite the dangers that intimacy can bring, Caroline insists on not limiting herself.
She said: “Kissing boys is definitely a risk. It invites potential instability into my life, but so does everyday life for me – for example, I am so allergic to dogs and cats, and it’s technically a risk for me to just leave the house or go to the beach.
“I could be laying down on the beach sunbathing and all of a sudden a dog could come up and lick my face. [That would be] immediate anaphylaxis.
“But I’m not going to not go to the beach just because I’m scared of the worst-case scenario. So in that same vein, I could completely avoid kissing and just live in a bubble when it comes to relationships, but I choose to take little, calculated risks so that I can live a full and happy life.
“With all that being said, I am definitely very attuned to my body and I’m very smart about [it]. I always choose whether or not I’m going to kiss somebody.
“If I am feeling particularly symptomatic one day, I’m not going to kiss whoever I’m dating.” Caroline even went two years without kissing anybody, due to a mould issue in her home making her symptoms flare.
But if the moment feels right, and she feels in good health, the young woman is happy to live as normally as possible. And she even feels it can be a good way to find out if someone is worth your time in the early dating stages.
She added: “I know it’s a bit unconventional to have to vet your kissing candidates, but it is lowkey a cheat code to dating. It immediately weeds out any guys who don’t really give a s**t about you.
“Like if they have to follow a few rules to be able to kiss you, then they obviously care, they’re obviously interested, and they’re willing to put in a good amount of effort.” She joked: “So if you ever want to know if a guy is serious about you, just tell them you have MACS and tell them to follow the three rules, and you’ll know immediately!”