There is a new trending phrase for dating and relationships as the rise of ‘performative males’ has emerged – think matcha drinking, labubu collecting boyfriends trying to impress women
Another day another TikTok dating trend – and this one is for the men. The rise of ‘performative boyfriends’ online are breaking through, and while it may sound like a dream to be with a man so compatible, it could be pretty icky too.
The term ‘performative boyfriend’ or male is a version of masculinity that’s been sold as attractive to the female gaze, with interests and lifestyle habits that will appeal more to women.
Think sipping on a matcha, listening to Taylor Swift, carrying a tote bag and baking tiramisu for you and your friends. Sounds like the perfect man right? Well, while some of it may be satire, there is a growing number of women realising their boyfriends fit into this category.
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There are hundreds of videos on social media with people talking about this new type of man, from ‘how to’ guides on becoming one to ‘performative male contests’.
Yes, you read that right. London hosted an actual best male performative contest, where hundreds of men competed to be the best. Where men threw bouquets of flowers and even sanitary pads into the audience, while some belted out some Taylor Swift to onlookers.
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One woman took to TikTok to share a video of her boyfriend and said: “he’s stealing my flow,” meaning he was adopting all of her interests in a bid to be more like her. The TikToker, who goes by the name @rob.kaila shared the quick video, where her boyfriend was drinking an iced matcha in the car while listening to popstar beabadobee on Spotify.
Another TikToker shared some of her thoughts on the ‘trend’ for men, and said they’re “literally everywhere”. Taking to her page, @juxphan said: “Ever dated someone who used you to make themselves look better? Yeah. Let’s talk about it. A more serious take on this topic I think I needed, and maybe that someone else might need as well.”
Despite it aiming to be light-hearted, some women have issues with the patronising trend. Some say it’s trivialising women’s interested, and are wondering why men are being put on a pedestal for liking these things. Is it another way for men to get laid, or are they actually trying to fight for women’s rights and speaking out about sexism?
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