Exclusive:
Three of the nine inspirational women, Debbie, Elaine and Dawn, who have taken part in a ground-breaking in podcast, Sex And The Titty, reveal how breast cancer has affected dating and their relationships
“Trying to date with cancer is a minefield,” says 57-year-old Debbie Boland. “As soon as you mention the C word, it puts potential partners off.” Single with two sons, Debbie from Urmston, Manchester, had a delayed diagnosis in August 2018 after she found a lump three months previously.
“My mammogram came back clear, but the lump kept getting bigger. Eventually an ultrasound found three lumps and cancer in my lymph nodes – I had Grade Three Stage Three inductive carcinoma, Her2 plus.
“I was newly dating someone when I was diagnosed, but I couldn’t handle his problems on top of mine so we finished. But I wasn’t told if I had sex while on chemo I could have burned my partner’s private parts.
“After chemo, surgery and radiotherapy, I couldn’t have immediate reconstruction. I said, ‘I’m tall and blonde and single – how long do I have to wait?’ After being wrongly told I wasn’t eligible on the NHS, my mum ended up paying £18k to have it done privately. Then shortly before the op, I lost her to pancreatic cancer in 2021. It was devastating.”
Despite bearing the scars of both ovarian cancer and breast cancer, Elaine Williams Jones was surprisingly happy to show off her 3D-effect tattooed nipple.
“I found out I had ovarian cancer when I was 62 in 2017, and then at my five year all clear appointment in 2022, I went for a mammogram and they found DCIS, which is a cancer in the milk ducts.”
Describing herself as a “big busted girl”, Elaine, 69, from Bolton, Greater Manchester, admits she struggled with having a mastectomy. “I do worry about losing my boobs as a woman. I know it sounds daft but I didn’t want to have dresses that were baggy around the chest. So I opted for a lumpectomy, and I’ve had my nipple tattooed, which made me feel more feminine again, and it’s been incredibly empowering to do this photoshoot.
“I grasp life with both hands now. My husband Stephen calls me superwoman and daughter Elinor says I am a warrior,” adds Elaine. “I actually used to be a catering manager and now I’m a TV extra on shows like The Bay.”
“I haven’t lost my hair – yet I’m more advanced than all these beautiful ladies,” says Dawn Marie Nicholls, who has secondary cancer after a lump in her armpit was ignored by doctors when she found it four years ago.
“I’ve got rheumatoid arthritis and because my mammograms were clear, doctors said it was a reactive lymph node and wouldn’t do a biopsy,” says Dawn, 50.
The mum-of-three, who lives in Accrington, Lancs, with husband Paul, explains. “I didn’t have any symptoms but eventually I got a cough and back pain. I was given a CT scan two years later, where they told me I had Stage 4 cancer which had spread to my bones, spine and liver. I just remember asking, ‘Am I going to die?’
“My oncologist said I have two to five years. It’s taken me two years to let go of my anger and my treatment is like the menopause on steroids.”
Dawn now lives her life in three month chunks when she goes to have my scan to see if my cancer is still asleep. “I call it my sleeping beauty and one day it will start to wake up,” she says. “I live in pain 24 hours a day but I choose to live positively. I don’t want to die – I want to see my grandchildren.”
• Sex And The Titty podcast goes live on February 14 boobee.co.uk/sex-and-the-titty