A mum has shed an impressive six stone after making a vow to her sick husband that she would look after herself and their three children.
A devastated widow has revealed how she felt compelled to lose six stone after the loss of her husband. Steph Barber, 45, from Birmingham was propelled into hell when husband Rich suffered a catastrophic brain stem stroke in 2016. The mum-of-three explained that the condition meant Rich was left ‘severely disabled and with locked-in syndrome’, leading to the family’s life being turned upside down. She found that the pressures of dealing with her husband’s debilitating condition, and his subsequent tragic death, led to her gaining six stone. Caring for her husband, the mum spent every day by his side, taking him to medical appointments while also working to support the family.
Her chaotic and stressful lifestyle meant that she had very little time for herself, which made eating healthy and preparing wholesome meals impossible. With limited time, the mum explained that she would ‘grab sandwiches or snacks on the go’, and as she struggled to cope with the pressure of looking after her unwell husband and their children, Steph’s weight began to creep up.
She explained: “My relationship with food growing up was good. My mum is a great cook and we would have traditional family meals – both my nans were great cooks too and I learnt how to cook by watching my mum and nans cook. I really enjoyed family meal times. My weight started creeping up in my late twenties while I was pregnant with my first child. I didn’t really lose much of my pregnancy weight in between pregnancies, and I had three children in just over three years. With each pregnancy I gained weight. After my third child was born I lost weight for our wedding and kept it off for a bit. When my husband got poorly, my life changed so much, so quickly.”
The mum revealed how she felt ‘eating a healthy balanced diet went out the window’ because she physically didn’t have the time to prepare healthy meals. Steph would eat whenever she could find the time, and when she did eat it would be whatever was convenient and available from the hospital canteen or supermarkets.
She added: “During the Covid-19 pandemic I gained a bit more weight and I knew then my weight was spiralling out of control and I had to do something about it. But I was so busy working, caring for my husband and looking after our three young children that I didn’t have time to look after myself.”
When Steph reached a size 22 – 24, she told husband rich that she was ‘unhappy’ with her size. While Rich was unable to speak at the time, she explained that he was able to communicate using his eyes, and she saw the look of shock on his face. “Looking after my husband during his illness was so important to me – I was his voice,” Steph recalls. He couldn’t speak and we found a way to communicate with him blinking to the right letter when I went . through the alphabet. I needed to be by his side to look after him and help him communicate. He was an amazing man, he battled through so much and I was so proud of him for everything he went through.”
Steph added that she began to feel ‘ashamed’ of how she looked and explained: “I felt ashamed that I had got to the weight I was, I hardly recognised myself. It was affecting my mobility and made me feel sad. I felt out of control and had no idea how to gain back the control I needed to lose weight.” Before Rich sadly died in 2023 at the age of 48, Steph – who was left in a state of deep grief – had promised him that she would look after herself and the couple’s three children, and she knew she needed to ‘make major changes’ to how she lived her life.
In a bid to become healthier and lose weight, Steph started walking in her local park each day after she dropped the children off at school, opting to use the time to clear her head. The mum explained: “It was hard at first to do a lap of the park as I was heavily overweight and my legs would hurt but it was also emotionally hard as I was crying as I was walking and had to stop as the pain of grief was intense.” But she added that: “One day at home I came across an article in a magazine featuring a lady who had had an amazing weight loss with The 1:1 Diet. She inspired me to read on and I thought ‘I can do this plan’. It looked like it would fit into my lifestyle.”
Steph immediately went on The 1:1 Diet website to find a consultant, deciding that Sarah Worrall would be the right person to help her lose weight. “I contacted Sarah and we set up an initial consultation that same week,” Steph says. “We talked about why I was there, and I said I was desperate to lose weight. “I told her I had been through the most horrendous eight years of my life with my husband being so poorly, in and out of hospital for long periods of time.
“I was working as well as caring for my husband and I had to be trained in complex care to be able to do this and having young children to look after who were also grieving. I hadn’t had any time for myself to cook or look after myself. Sarah advised Steph to do Step 3 of The 1:1 Diet, which involved eating two meal replacement products and a 600 calorie evening meal. She also drank over two litres of water a day and incorporated exercise into her life. Steph loved the products and would have a bar in the morning after her walk, a soup or noodles for lunch and an evening meal which I varied between chicken, fish, salads, vegetables and stir fry.
She explained: “I found my love of cooking came back which helped me to relax and also made me happy that I was providing myself and my children a healthy balanced evening meal,” Steph remembers. “As the weeks went on I was losing weight consistently, healthily and fast. My determination was spurred on with my weekly weight losses and the thought that my husband would be proud of me. I had promised him I would look after myself and our children.”
Steph has now lost more than six and a half stone, dropping down to a size 12 in clothing and feels ‘amazing’. The grieving mum explains that she has ‘re-gained my confidence’. She added: “I feel like I have got the old Steph back, before I was hiding under an unhappy blanket of weight pretending I was ok when I wasn’t.