A woman has been left seething after her husband told her she needed to do more to help keep their house clean and tidy – despite him being a stay-at-home husband
Dividing the household chores can be a contentious subject.
If you live with a partner, then you’ve probably discussed how household chores are separated. Maybe one of you does the washing up while the other does the laundry, or perhaps you take the bins out in exchange for not having to clean the bathroom.
Division of labour can look different depending on your work situation, too. In a household where everyone works similar hours, you can expect the chores to be evenly split too, but if you go to work while your partner stays at home – or vice versa – it’s common to expect the party at home to do more to keep the house clean.
One woman, however, is livid with her husband after he told her the reason their house is a mess is because she doesn’t do enough housework – even though he’s a stay-at-home dad to their toddler.
The woman said she works full-time while her husband – whom she gave the alias Jack – stays at home with their child. However, instead of keeping on top of the housework, the dad plays video games while their toddler naps and then picks her up when she wakes up and makes dinner for the family.
She said her spouse gets “maybe one chore” done around the house each day, although she noted that sometimes she is “pleasantly surprised” by his efforts. The mum claims that one chore per day isn’t enough to keep their house clean, however, so she’s given up trying to help him – and now he says it’s her fault.
In a post on Reddit, she said: “I’ve talked to Jack multiple times about keeping the house cleaned, but he claims it’s not fair that I don’t have to do anything (which isn’t true). If the house is kept up, I do dishes, laundry, and meal prep on my days off. Sometimes, I’ll bake, too. I’ll also be on toddler duty. However, once he lets the house go, I don’t do anything other than clean the areas my toddler is in so she’s not affected by it because she deserves a clean house.”
The woman said she’s managed to get the house “almost clean” by herself three times, but her husband doesn’t keep it clean while she’s at work.
She added: “He claims it’s my fault that the house is trashed because I should do more, yet I work full time because he didn’t want to work, which I supported and made more sense financially.”
Commenters on the post sympathised with the mum and said that if her husband doesn’t want to fulfil the expectations of a stay-at-home parent, then he should “get a job”, and the couple should look at hiring a nanny or weekly house cleaner instead.
One person said, “This is the exact same thing as if he were the breadwinner and you were the stay-at-home wife. If he wants chores to be split, then he can contribute financially; if he doesn’t, then housework is his job. What your husband is doing is treating you like free room and board with the expectation of you being his live-in maid.”
Another added: “He shouldn’t have to do everything, but he should do the majority of chores. Full-time childcare is a job, but that doesn’t mean he gets out of chores. You both should sit down and discuss the childcare and chores arrangements.”
Do you have a story to share? Get in touch at [email protected].