Speaking to the Mirror as part of our Missed campaign, Tessa Capon opens up about how Father’s Day is the hardest day of the year for the families of missing dads
A tattered yet treasured teddy bear is all Tessa has left to remember her dad Andrew Capon who went missing 27 years ago when she was just 15.
It was October 2, 1998 when Andrew vanished without a trace after a night out with three friends in Skegness – his family still don’t know if he’s dead or alive.
And as millions of families wake up to celebrate Father’s Day, Tessa, 41, tells how losing your dad at such a young age leaves a gaping hole in your heart that never quite heals.
“Father’s Day is the hardest day of the year,” Tessa sighs. “Social media is full of people’s posts sharing how they are taking dad out to celebrate. It’s a lot to deal with and another year you can’t spend Father’s Day with your dad. If a parent passes away you can mourn and pay your respects, but we can’t even do that as we don’t have any answers.
“We don’t know if he’s dead or alive so we have nowhere to go and pay our respects. Sometimes we’ll take some flowers to Skegness just to remember him, because that’s where we went on family holidays when we were younger, and it was the last place he was seen.”
READ MORE: ‘We want to hug our dads on Father’s Day but don’t know if they’re dead or alive’
A lot has happened in the 27 years that Tessa hasn’t seen her dad – in 1998 he was 37-years-old but now he’ll be 64 and a grandfather to 12 grandchildren aged from 4 to 24. Tessa still clings onto hope she’ll find him but the more years that pass, the more she feels time is running out.
And the guilt of not being able to find him for all these years is something that eats away at her. “The biggest emotion that’s stayed with me over the 27 years is guilt – guilt that I didn’t stop him leaving that day, guilt that I can’t find him,” she says tearfully. “Before she died my nan gave me this teddy bear which belonged to my dad – it’s 62 years old. I really hoped we’d find him for my nan before she died, but sadly we couldn’t. I just want to bring my dad home – I feel like I’ve let people down.”
The loved ones of those who go missing are often left in limbo feeling tortured by unanswered questions such as: could they have been murdered? Have they taken their own life? Or did they just leave? One thing their families often cling onto is hope that one day they’ll come home and that they will get the chance to hear their voice and see their smile again.
“You’ve just got to keep hoping that one day you’ll find him – hope is all that missing families have,” Tessa says. “But as the years go on, I’m starting to feel like time is running out. 27 years is a long time. I miss having my dad around especially when I’m struggling in life and I need my dad’s support – that’s when it really hits hard.”
It doesn’t get any easier but Tessa really struggled when she was 37 – the same age as her dad when he went missing. “I had a mental health breakdown as I couldn’t cope,” she says. “I also missed him when I gave birth to my children – between me and my siblings he’s got 12 grandchildren waiting to meet him.”
Andrew disappeared without a change of clothes or passport and when his family called his mobile phone it failed to connect. No trace of him has ever been found and it doesn’t help that his family feel the police haven’t done enough to retrace his last steps. Tessa has made an official complaint about the police because she claims they didn’t act upon 98 lines of enquiry.
“We’ve had a lot of failings, a lot of let downs by the police,” she says. “When I put the complaint in, all their answers (on the form) were ‘should have been done but wasn’t’ which to me is not acceptable. It made me feel angry and hurt because the police are supposed to be there to help you and if they’d have done some of the things they should have done at the beginning, we might not be here right now.”
In a statement Lincolnshire Police said: “Andrew Capon is one of a number of missing person cases in Lincolnshire that is considered inactive. However, inactive cases don’t mean that they are closed for good. We will still investigate and follow new leads and new lines of inquiry when they come to light. Andrew’s case was subject to a comprehensive review in 2013 and since then, we have responded to multiple lines of inquiry in relation to the case and have updated the family with the outcome.”
Andrew is 6 foot 2 tall with blue eyes and had blonde cropped hair at the the time of his disappearance – with piercings in both ears, tattoos on his arms and one less finger on his left hand. The Missing People charity has been supporting Tessa and hopes by the Mirror shining a fresh light on Andrew’s disappearance, new information could come to the surface.
The charity’s Chantal Kortz said: “Andrew has been missing for 27 years, and during that time, the pain and uncertainty for his loved ones have never faded. We continue to stand alongside his daughter, Tessa—offering support, listening, and sharing in her unwavering determination to find answers. Her strength and resilience are a powerful reminder of why we never give up.
“We are also deeply grateful to The Mirror for helping to shine a renewed light on Andrew’s case. Media attention can be a vital tool—bringing awareness, hope, and sometimes the breakthrough families so desperately need. At Missing People, we remain committed to being here for Tessa and for everyone affected by the disappearance of a loved one. Behind every missing person is a family still searching, still hoping. Andrew is not forgotten. Hope endures.”
READ MORE: When is a person considered missing? And how long until they’re presumed dead
He was last seen in Skegness which holds a special place in Tessa’s hearts as she has fond memories of enjoying family holidays there when she was a child. Tessa recalls how they’d play football, go fishing and play pool and how he would always call her ‘Daddy’s girl’ because she is his eldest. Every year 170,000 people disappear off our streets in the UK – one person every 90 seconds is reported missing but they are much more than a statistic to their families.
Tessa says: “I’ve always had this feeling that I have to keep my dad’s name out there because if I don’t nobody else is going to. I have to keep his name and his face out there – for me it’s never been a choice, it’s been something I feel I have to do. If I don’t do that then I feel like I’ve failed him.
“If you’re out there dad please come home, or get in touch to let us know you’re safe. We’re not angry with you, we just want you home or to know you’re safe. If anyone else knows something please get in touch – it’s been 27 years and we need some peace.”
• The Mirror is using its platform to launch Missed – a campaign to shine a light on underrepresented public-facing missing persons in the UK via a live interactive map, in collaboration with Missing People Charity. Because every missing person, no matter their background or circumstances, is someone’s loved one. And they are always Missed.