Leah, 28, says it was like a ‘gut punch’ when she came home and got the news
A woman who delayed a doctor’s appointment to enjoy a sunny holiday abroad was “gut punched” on her return when she was told she had cancer. Leah Clinch was in perfect health before finding a lump, and assumed it was something innocent like a cyst.
But an ultrasound and biopsy revealed she had breast cancer. Leah, a 28-year-old civil servant from London, said: “I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. I hadn’t even taken anyone with me to the appointment because I was so relaxed and certain it wouldn’t be cancer. I was in disbelief and immediately my mind went to thinking cancer means my life is ruined, and means I’m going to lose my hair.
“I also thought I can’t believe I have to tell my family and friends that I have cancer and how hard it was going to be.”
Leah had no symptoms – other than the lump, which she estimates was less than 20mm in size – roughly the size of a peanut, and as hard as a rock, which she found in January.
She said: “I thought it had to be a cyst or something innocent. I did a lot of googling – which is never a good idea – but because I had no other symptoms and because of my age, I assumed it surely couldn’t be cancerous.
“I’m generally very healthy, I’ve never had any previous health conditions – I’d never even had an operation or so much as broken a bone before.”
After finding the lump she booked to get checked with her GP, delaying until the end of the month as she had a trip to Thailand scheduled. 10 days after the appointment, she met with a surgeon and a MacMillan nurse, who broke the news.
Leah said: “The lump looked to be very small and had no signs of spreading, so the first line of treatment was surgery to have it removed, which is called a lumpectomy, alongside a lymph node biopsy.”
The surgery took place in April, and went well, with doctors checking lymph nodes in her armpit for cancerous cells – which one of them showed evidence of. Leah said: “It means the cancer had started to spread, but had not formed a tumour yet.”
Because of this, and her young age, she has started a course of chemotherapy to combat the cancer. Due to infertility concerns, Leah froze her eggs in May, before starting the first of eight sessions of chemo.
Throughout the process, she is trying to save her hair by using a cold cap. She said: “This only works well in about a third of people so it’s very possible I’ll lose some or all of my hair which is going to massively impact me.
“My hair is so important to me and my confidence. The thought of losing it is scary because it’s what takes you from looking fit and healthy to people knowing you’re going through cancer treatment.
“It’s also gutting to think it will take me years to grow it back long. But I’m enjoying it while I still can and have to remind myself that losing my hair is minor in comparison to the thought of the cancer returning. One massive impact is that I’ve had to go from feeling pretty healthy to feeling unwell each time I have chemo.
“It feels so wrong. I have to focus on my recovery and say no to plans – I was supposed to be going to Paris for a music festival with my friends but you have to accept that you’re going to miss out on things and have days where you just need to rest which is really hard.”
Despite much of her life being “on pause” while she focuses on her health, including stepping back from her career, Leah is determined to stay optimistic. She said: “I’ve tried to remain as positive as possible as I truly believe my mindset is helping to carry me through this experience.
“If I constantly allow it to make me feel upset and worried it won’t get me anywhere – but I also have a cry every now and then. Although cancer is a terrifying thing, the earlier you catch it the less impact it will have on your life. It is so important to listen to your body and not ignore it.
“My cancer had started to spread into one of my lymph nodes only three months after I initially found the lump. If I had left it another 3-6 months it could have spread to other parts of my body and my outlook could have been very different.
“I urge everyone to go to the GP if they notice something is wrong and don’t put it off. Having cancer doesn’t change who you are, you will have good days and bad days throughout the whole experience but I’ve found that I’m so much stronger than I thought, and cancer doesn’t define me.”