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As research finds that most lone female travellers are over 45, intrepid pensioners share the highs and lows of travelling as a solo women around the world
Solo travelling and the cliched ‘gap yah’ might feel like a young person’s game but it’s more likely to be middle-aged women that are jetting off on adventures by themselves. New research has shown that 81 per cent of solo female travellers are aged over 45, which makes sense given their disposable income and confidence to jump on a plane.
Meanwhile the greatest increase is with women aged 65 and over – going from four per cent in 2019 to 18 per cent in 2022, according to a report by Condor Ferries. Some of that interest could even be coming from one Facebook group – Solo in Style: Women Over 50 Travelling Solo & Loving It! which has more than half a million members and is growing at the rate of 500 new members a day.
We spoke to the group’s founder and some of its members to find out why they’re choosing to go it alone, even though not all adventures were completely smooth sailing.
‘I was naked in bed and a hotel manager burst into my room and declared his love for me’
Scarily for Carol Martindale, 66, a solo traveller from from Chorley, Lancashire, she’s had to learn the hard way why it’s important to have your wits about you, even if you’re alone in your room. The retired police worker no longer approaches solo travel with rose-tinted glasses. On a recent trip to Italy, she found herself lost and alone in torrential rain in remote countryside and on a previous visit to Turkey a hotel manager let himself into her room in the middle of the night.
Yet Carol refuses to let the bad experiences put her off. “I’m 66 and if there are things I want to do in life, I either do them on my own or I don’t do them and out of those two options I’d rather do them on my own,” she says firmly. Carol’s shocking experience in Turkey happened 11 years ago when she was 55. “The hotel manager used his pass key and came in and said he loved me,” she recalls. “I was in bed naked. I screamed and eventually he went, but it did frighten me.”
Meanwhile, on a trip to Italy last year, she found herself lost by a river with no way to cross it. “Google maps took me the wrong route and I was wet, tired and tearful,” she says. “But I gave myself a talking to, dried my tears and got there.” Carol has always had an intrepid nature. When she was younger, she applied to emigrate to Canada, but after meeting her husband she put her plans on hold and the couple started a family.
They divorced, but it didn’t stop her adventures. “I’d go to London for a couple of days on my own and I loved it,” she says. When the children left home Carol began travelling regularly. However, there is one aspect of solo travel that she doesn’t enjoy. “Eating out in a restaurant in the evening can be challenging,” she says. “You realise that you don’t have the company that everyone else has.”
Undeterred, on her recent trip to Italy, Carol found a way around it. “I survived on a hearty hotel breakfast and the crazy amounts of snacks they served me with my aperitif!” she laughs.
‘My marriage ended so I went on the once-in-a-lifetime trip I planned with my partner alone’
When Deborah Ives’ 17-year marriage ended suddenly and unexpectedly, she feared her travelling days were over. She and her husband had loved holidaying together – they were even on the verge of a trip-of-a-lifetime to Borneo when they split. But rather than cancel, Deborah vowed to go alone. It was a decision that would change her life, sparking an unexpected passion for solo travel.
“I was 49. We had a trip to Borneo planned to see the orang-utans and go scuba diving,” she says. “I thought: ‘I’m not going to let this opportunity pass.’ I was absolutely petrified – a lot of the trip was in the middle of the jungle and in one resort I was the only guest staying in a remote cabin; I almost went into meltdown.
“I was worried about feeling lonely, but I had the most amazing time and it made me realise I could go anywhere I wanted to go and do anything I wanted to do. It was very empowering.” When she returned to Britain, Deborah couldn’t find much on the internet about solo female travellers over the age of 50, so in 2018 she set up a small Facebook group. “There was nobody in it for the longest time – it was me, my sister and a handful of friends. Then it started to grow.” Today, Solo in Style: Women Over 50 Travelling Solo & Loving It! has 621,000 members.
Deborah, 65, who recently retired from her marketing job, says: “Attitudes have changed. I remember telling a friend that I was just back from India. He said: ‘I’m really sorry, couldn’t you find anyone to go with?’ But women are getting bolder. And once you take that first step there is something really lovely about not having to worry about anybody else.”
Deborah, who is single and lives in south London, regularly travels alone, as well as organising small group tours for members of Solo in Style. She admits there are ups and down to travelling solo, but wouldn’t change a thing. “It would be lovely to turn to somebody and say ‘isn’t this sunset fabulous?’ Also, doing all the organisation yourself can sometimes make you anxious.
“But then, at the airport, I always smile to myself at the couples who are sat there not talking to each other, or arguing. I don’t feel smug, but I do feel quite content that I’m doing it on my own now and that I’m very comfortable doing that.”
‘I was an empty nester so naturally I joined a solo motorbike tour’
After Michaela Weaver became an empty nester following 28 years of bustling family life, her home suddenly felt very empty. So the mum-of-three decided to take drastic action and despite never having travelled abroad on her own before, she set off on a five-week solo motorbike trip across Spain. “I went from a family of several people to just one and it was a shock,” she explains. “I thought: ‘who am I without this purpose and function?’ It’s a massive shift for women.”
What makes Michaela’s adventure all the more incredible, is that in the years before the trip she was nervous about going anywhere on her own. “I was a pretty fearful woman; the world just seemed an unsafe place,” she recalls. “I was very much a home bird – Sunday roast and mum to the kids.”
A life transformation coach, Michaela had worked on herself for many years and decided to put herself to the test, setting off last October on her Triumph Tiger 900 on a 4,000 mile journey, which took her from Santander to the south of Spain and back. “Challenging moments came up, but to my joy there was no fear. Weeks went by without a proper conversation or close human contact. Yet what I realised was that I didn’t need anybody with me, because there are always strangers who will help.”
Michaela says her journey is already inspiring other older women. “I think women are looking for that reconnection back to who they used to be – where did that girl go? The one with the dreams,” she reflects. “They are realising that they can live life to the full – whatever their age. There is freedom in going alone, you can go where you want, do what you want and turn a corner left or right. That’s where you find the gold.”
For more information, visit Solo In Style: Women Over 50 Travelling Solo & Loving It! at Facebook.com