A parenting expert has shared some of the tips she learned the hard way when becoming a mother – and she wanted others online to reduce daily comparison and guilt
It’s Parents Day (Saturday July 27), a time to appreciate all parents for their hard work and selfless commitment to their children.
But for those parents who feel a little burned out or stressed because of their little ones misbehaving, or as though something is wrong when it comes to their parenting, then fear not.
Larissa, mum and the founder of The Childcare Guide, shared her top tips to help make the lives of parents easier, and she exclusively revealed them with Mirror, meaning you won’t have to head to online social media forums to ask whether what you’re doing is the right thing or not. You can be safe in the knowledge that you’re doing what is right by your kids.
1. Communicate
Larissa said she could “not stress enough” that good communication is key. “When parents communicate with each other about how they would like their children to be raised, the struggles their child is currently facing, together they can decide what strategies they will implement to support their child,” she shared.
Larissa highlighted that “both parents [being] on the same page,” is so important, because the child should be getting “the same support from both parents,” which means the child will “feel safer with the boundaries” and “not confused by what is right and wrong”.
2. Presence over perfection
She said: “Children only need a few basics to thrive, and one of those is their parents’ presence. Instead of focusing on providing perfect moments, focus on being present, engaging in their fun, and being interested in what they want to show you and play. This will improve your bond and your mental health by knowing that you are enough.”
3. Listen to your child
“All parents are busy, but one of the really important things you can do is to listen to your child when they want to talk to you,” Larissa shared.
She continued: “If they are constantly hearing ‘I am busy’, ‘not now’, tell me later’, then they are going to learn that you don’t have time for them or what they want to tell you is not important.
“This may not seem a problem when they are three and want to show you their 5th drawing of lines, but it creates the foundation for how they will feel when they are teenagers and whether they feel they will be listened to when they have big things to share.”
4. Batch cooking is a saviour
Larissa said there are a couple of ways to do this. The first is to “spend half the day cooking all the meals for the week ahead” once you’ve done the weekly shop.
She explained: “Then put them in the fridge or freezer, depending on the day they will be eaten. This means that during the week, no one has to cook at the end of a busy day, dishes are limited during the week, and the bins don’t fill up as quickly”.
The other option is to “cook slightly bigger portions so there is a meal or two that you can freeze for your children. On the days when someone has been poorly or you are home late, there is also a quick, low-effort, and healthy meal available”.
5. Weaning babies can eat the same as you
Larissa said: “Babies who are weaning can eat the same food as their parents, whether you are doing puree or baby-led weaning.
“Just cook your meal without the added salt, sugar and honey to make it safe for them – you can always add those ingredients in after you have taken your baby’s food out. Cooking a family meal instead of cooking separately for you and your baby means you are cooking half the meals, with half the washing up.”
6. Don’t believe everything you see on social media
Larissa said “social media is great for ideas” and can give you inspiration about what to do with your children, but she urged you to “remember that so much has been staged”.
“Use social media for inspiration, but don’t feel guilty if you are not doing as many parent-led activities as social media is portraying that others do,” she recommended.
7. Parenting isn’t a competition
“Every baby is different, and every family is different. When you stop comparing what your child can and can’t do, what you do and don’t do and the rules that you implement, your stress and anxiety reduces as does your ‘mum guilt’,” she shared.
8. Let children be bored
Larissa shared it’s really important to not keep your children occupied every second of every day. She said: “Reduce how much you plan for you children because when children are constantly busy, they do not have the opportunity to be bored.
“Being bored is essential for children’s development. It provides them the opportunity to develop problem-solving skills, organisational skills and become creative. It also boosts their self-esteem through becoming responsible for their own happiness.”