As former Tory MP Sir Michael Fabricant opens up about his ‘deep friendships’ outside of his primary relationship, the Mirror hears from clinical psychologist Dr Lori Beth Bisbey, whose open relationship has bought her plenty of ‘passion, play, laughter and joy’
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After realising that she was bisexual, Dr Lori Beth, who is based in Edinburgh, knew she didn’t want to “give up a large part of sexuality” by being with just one person. When she first started dating her husband in the spring of 2009, she was open and honest about the sort of relationship she wanted from day one.
Fortunately, he was on exactly the same page, and the pair quickly realised they were “an excellent match” within the first six months of their relationship. They have now been together for 16 years, and married for nine, and share a committed life “filled with passion, play, laughter and joy”.
Over the years, Dr Lori Beth, 62, and her 66-year-old husband have only grown more certain of the strength of their connection while also nurturing relationships outside of their primary bond. Dr Lori Beth is also in love with a woman who lives in the US, who she enjoys weekly Zoom chats with. They also see each other in person around “three to six times per year”.
Dr Lori Beth told the Mirror: “My husband and her husband are friends, and all of us get along well and get together at least once a year. Boundaries are clear and easy as there is a clear hierarchy we have all established.”
Along with this other romantic partner, Dr Lori Beth and her husband “have a couple of periodic playmates” who they will usually see while attending events. Neither of them experiences jealousy, as they feel “secure” both in themselves and in their relationship.
According to Dr Lori Beth: “Jealousy in most people comes from one of two (or both) places: insecurity about yourself or insecurity about your place in your relationship. You can be secure in yourself but not feel like your relationship is stable.”
As detailed by Dr. Lori Beth, polyamory has various benefits, including “lots of support, intimacy—physical and emotional” and “having a higher chance of getting needs met.” However, as with any relationship, there are also a few obstacles to address.
Dr Lori Beth confessed: “Scheduling is a b****. [You] need lots of time for emotional processing with others and by oneself. Sometimes everyone has crazy things happening in their lives so that places higher demands on you for support.”
All things considered, however, Dr Lori Beth believes that non-monogamy makes much more sense as a concept, and can be a helpful solution for those looking for love who don’t want to face “panic and indecision.”
Dr Lori Beth reflected: “The idea that there is one person for you is not useful even for monogamous people. It leads to panic and indecision when that person hasn’t been found or when there are issues in a relationship that the healthy response to would be leaving the relationship.
“There are a number of people that a person can find who they will align well and with whom they can create a great relationship. Some of these relationships may last a lifetime, others lasting until you outgrow each other.”
This follows new research from La Trobe University that concluded that non-monogamous couples are just as happy as those in more traditional relationships, with the added bonus of being more sexually satisfied.
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