Having a five-month-old baby is hard enough without having family drama to deal with, but this mum is at the end of her tether with her ‘passive aggressive’ mother-in-law’s interference with her parenting style
Any parent knows the excitement of welcoming a new baby into their family, but opinions and comments from other parents can be frustrating.
Not only is a new baby exciting for the parents but becoming a grandparent for the first time is also a huge milestone – who often can’t wait to help out with the baby. But one new mum is “so tired” of her mother-in-law’s “passive-aggressive” behaviour around her five-month-old daughter.
The annoyed mum, Claire, said her husband’s mother tries to give her baby bottled milk when she is breastfed only, spends over 10 minutes changing her baby’s nappy, and always turns up at their home. She has visited over 30 times since the baby was born.
Giving an example of her behaviour on Reddit, the new mum explained: “She came here yesterday afternoon. Just showed up. No call ahead, nothing. Said she was ‘in the area’. I was making dinner and she asks ‘what are we having?’ – I tell her I only made enough for us.”
She continued: “She wants to help with either changing my daughter’s diaper or bottle feeding her. We won’t let her change our daughter’s diaper because the one time she did (we didn’t give her permission), she spent way too much time doing so. It creeped me out. It doesn’t take 10 minutes to wipe a baby. It bothered me on a very deep level and my husband was even uncomfortable.
“The bottle issue – I strictly breastfeed. She doesn’t need to bottle feed my baby but it really gets her irritated that I refuse.” Claire said when she is cooking tea her mother-in-law always disturbs the family’s routine and when the baby is fussing she says she will take the baby.
Clarie said: “My mother-in-law says ‘here, I will take the baby while you finish dinner, Claire can go pump real quick so I can get the baby settled’. I’m so tired of this argument with her so in the heat of the moment I slammed the spatula on the counter and said ‘you’re not feeding my kid, bring it up one more time and I will be going no contact and you’ll have very little to do with your granddaughter’s life at all’.
“I then take the baby, pass the spatula to my husband and walk in to the back room and lock myself away. I could hear her arguing with my husband in the kitchen and then a door slam.”
Claire’s husband said he is “sick of being in the middle” of the pair, despite agreeing with his wife. He threw his mother out of the house and the couple no longer speak to his mother. Claire added: “He’s going no contact with his mother but his whole attitude has changed. He’s distant now. Am I the a******?”
The dilemma created a lot of reaction after being shared on Reddit. One individual said: “New rule. Mother-in-law does not come into your home unless she is invited to visit. Inviting herself doesn’t count.”
One other wrote: “Your mother-in-law has an issue with boundaries with your child and your rules and continuously ignores you. You husband is caught in the middle, but it does sound like it is best for now that your mother-in-law is kept away.”
A third said: “Treat her like a child since she insists on behaving like one. Husband needs to step up here and handle his mum.”
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