Resident agony aunt Coleen Nolan has advice for a reader struggling to make ends meet and is worried about how to keep her children entertained while school’s out
Dear Coleen
I’m a married mum of two in my late 30s. We can’t afford to go on holiday this year because, well, life has just become more and more unaffordable.
I had my hours cut at work, while the cost of living seems to be going up all the time. We’re relying mostly on my husband’s salary, which is a stretch, so we’ve had to cut back on all but the essentials.
I don’t know what to do with my kids for the six weeks over summer. They finish school this week and I’m dreading it, which I know sounds awful, but my son and daughter both have ADHD, so it can be challenging.
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They don’t have many friends and aren’t often invited to parties and playdates, so it’s a struggle and can feel very lonely at times – for them and for me.
I haven’t found that other mums are particularly empathetic, to be honest. They just seem to want to swerve any drama, which they assume my kids are likely to cause.
If you have any ideas at all for how we can have a less stressful summer, I’d love to hear them.
Coleen says
At the risk of sounding ancient, my parents never took me and my siblings anywhere special in the school holidays.
We didn’t have money to burn and playdates weren’t even a thing. However, I remember being happy and still having fun. I think these days, parents feel a lot of pressure to spend money to do things, but what children appreciate most is your time. The days when my mum took us to the park for a picnic or we did something fun with her at home are the days I remember the most.
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Also, it’s good for kids to get a bit bored, so they’re forced to use their imaginations to create fun or venture out. They don’t need every minute scheduled.
I remember one time when my boys were small and complaining of being bored, so I took them outside, marked up the path with a stone and showed them how to play hopscotch. They’d never heard of it and stayed outside playing it for about three hours! I don’t think you should panic. It’ll be nice to have slower mornings and be out of the school routine. If you’re relaxed and the vibe at home is relaxed hopefully the kids will be too.
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It might help to sit down with a calendar and schedule a few affordable things for every week of the break – an afternoon tea at home, a swim, a treasure hunt, a paddling pool day in the garden and a trip to the cinema, for example. It doesn’t have to be every day, but you’ll have a few things to look forward to and a loose schedule.
Rope your family in to help and don’t be scared to reach out to other mums.
You might find a couple of them are desperate for some ideas and company too.
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