Karen Millen has branded a mum ‘selfish’ for breastfeeding her three-year-old son amongst other comments – but these are just another excuse to shame mums
Like a lot of mums I know, Karen Millen’s been mentioned all over my social media feed since she appeared on Jeremy, Storm & Vanessa On 5 this week.
Vanessa Feltz highlighted the story of a mum in the USA who has gone viral for breastfeeding her three-year-old, and been trolled since posting her video. Karen Millen, a fashion designer, said that she found the whole thing “selfish”. Despite not being a health expert, she then proceeded to declare “there’s no benefit is there for a child to be breastfed beyond six months” – the World Health Organization disagrees. Karen, who designs clothes but is not a renowned child psychologist, then throws in “that’s not good emotionally for that child”, and that she thinks it’s “not normal” and “weird”.
As for her claims that it becomes an addiction – where are the stats or science to back that up? Because I personally have yet to meet an adult who’s calling up their mum for a breastfeed because they are so used to the boob.
I am just weeks out of my breastfeeding journey, and those comments really hit a nerve, leaving me infuriated. I wasn’t alone – other mums around me, some of whom can’t see a light at the end of the breastfeeding tunnel just yet, were also livid. These comments are just another example of society shaming mums. If you don’t breastfeed, that’s bad. If you do breastfeed, that’s bad. You just can’t win.
Any mum who has breastfed will know how much of a rollercoaster the experience can be. There are some truly wonderful highs; the bonding with your baby, the cuddles, the fact that it’s super convenient because you don’t need to remember bottles. But there are also plenty of lows; the long nights where the baby cluster feeds and there’s only so much your partner can do to help, the pressure to always be near your baby because they can’t feed without you, the physical and mental toll it takes on your body.
I know some mums who are more than ready to be done with it, but their babies aren’t, so they are pushing through. ‘Selfish’ is absolutely not a word I would use to describe any of those women.
Then there’s the societal pressure. From the moment my baby was born, I had health professionals, family members, friends and random people I didn’t even know telling me that breastfeeding was the best course of action (I actually disagree with this sentiment too – mums have enough to deal with, however you choose to feed your baby is best).
As a new mum, it’s so much pressure, especially when those first few weeks you’re trying to figure everything out from surviving on lack of sleep, trying to establish a latch, and just generally trying to come to terms with the fact you’re now responsible for this wonderful, tiny human being.
All the mums around me – no matter how they choose to feed their babies – have been navigating the world of parenting, and there are so many opinions out there, it can be so overwhelming. I can’t help but think if I’d seen those comments when I was having a particularly rough night or difficult day, it would have absolutely left me feeling deflated and useless.
Mums – and dads too – deserve to get all of the support they can, and unless they’re doing something that genuinely could harm or put a child in danger, who are we to judge another parent’s decision?
The World Health Organization’s official recommendation is: “WHO and UNICEF recommend that children initiate breastfeeding within the first hour of birth and be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life – meaning no other foods or liquids are provided, including water.
“Infants should be breastfed on demand – that is as often as the child wants, day and night. No bottles, teats or pacifiers should be used.
“From the age of 6 months, children should begin eating safe and adequate complementary foods while continuing to breastfeed for up to two years of age or beyond.”
See that last bit? OR BEYOND. So no, I don’t think it’s “selfish” or “weird”. I think if a child is happy and healthy and loved, who cares if they’re being breastfed or not?