James Middleton, brother of the Princess of Wales, speaks exclusively about the incredible support he received from sisters Kate and Pippa Middleton during his darkest moments
To the nation, she is an icon, a figurehead, a future Queen. But to James Middleton, she is simply his big sister Kate. In a rare interview, the 38-year-old has revealed how the Princess of Wales has always been there for him, despite her own busy life.
He explains how Kate, 43, and their sister Pippa, 41, helped him find his way in his darkest moments. “I’m incredibly fortunate to have my two sisters, not just as siblings, but as friends,” he said.
“They’ve seen me at my best and at my lowest, and they’ve always been there when I’ve needed them.
“Sibling love is something unique, you can’t choose your siblings, it can be complicated, it takes work, but when it’s strong, I believe it’s one of the most powerful bonds there is.”
And James says behind the royal image she must maintain, Kate is a sensitive, strong and emotionally intelligent woman.
After a mental health crisis in 2017 that left him with thoughts of ending his life, James credits the strong women around him – Kate, Pippa and mum Carole, 70 – for helping him pull through.
“They’ve always been emotionally open, expressive, and in tune with the people around them, and I think being surrounded by that kind of emotional intelligence rubbed off on me, even if I didn’t fully realise it at the time,” he says.
“Looking back, I think it gave me permission, in a way, to feel things more deeply and to name those feelings when they came up.
“That doesn’t mean I always found it easy. In fact, like a lot of men, I struggled with expressing how I was doing when I was at my lowest.
“But having strong women around me who led with compassion and honesty definitely helped me learn that vulnerability wasn’t weakness, it was strength.
“It probably laid the groundwork for me being able to open up later on, whether in therapy, writing the book, or just in honest conversations with the people I love. And for that, I’m incredibly grateful.”
James recalls happy days growing up in Berkshire with business owner Carole and their father Michael, 75, a former British Airways manager.
Kate married Prince William in 2011 and is now a devoted mother to Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis. She has shown plenty of resilience herself, having announced in March last year that she was in the early stages of cancer treatment.
Since the end of her treatment in September, she has returned to public events and is now in remission.
As well as the women in his life, James believes he was saved by his cocker spaniel Ella, saying: “She gave me a reason to get up, to go outside, to care.” Ella’s life is celebrated in James’s memoir, Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life.
James, who married French financial analyst Alizee Thevenet in September 2021, decided to write his book after discovering that he and Alizee were expecting their first baby – Inigigo, now 20 months – shortly after Ella died in early 2023.
He tells Notebook magazine: “I’ve come to realise that grief isn’t something you ‘get over’, it’s something you learn to embrace. It becomes part of you.
“It helped me honour Ella’s life and the massive imprint she left. I also hoped someone else who’s grieving might feel a little less alone. The joy and the grief are intertwined”
Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life (Radar) is out now in paperback, hardback, ebook and audio
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