Warning – distressing content: After years of watching her mother be abused, a brave six-year-old stood up to her cruel father, but trying to escape him would have fatal consequences
On the surface, Rowan Baxter, 44, seemed like the perfect husband and father. The handsome former New Zealand Rugby player and his equally good-looking fitness instructor wife, Hannah, 31, showed the outside world a seemingly picture-perfect life, but behind closed doors, a dark and all too familiar story was unfolding throughout their 11-year relationship.
Unbeknownst to other people, Rowan was abusing Hannah physically and mentally. After many years, one particular incident involving the couple’s six-year-old daughter saw the fitness instructor finally break away from her coercive husband – but Rowan refused to let go of control of his estranged wife and their children.
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Hannah was just 20 when she met Rowan, who was 11 years older than her, back in 2008, and they quickly fell in love. However, even the start of their relationship took place under a shadow, with the rugby player still married to and living with his first wife, though he lied to Hannah and told her they were separated.
Hannah and Rowan tied the knot in 2012 when she was pregnant with their first child, and went into business together shortly afterwards, with the athletic pair buying a gym. The business was not a success, and Hannah’s family often had to bail out the debts.
Over the course of their relationship, Rowan followed the typical pattern of domestic abuse: slowly but surely escalating violent and bullying behaviour.
The couple shared three children: daughters Aaliyah, six, and Laianah, four, and a son, three-year-old Trey.
From what Hannah displayed on her social media profiles, few would have guessed the reality of the nightmare she was living through.
In 2016, marking their four-year wedding anniversary, she posted a sweet tribute to Rowan, calling him her “best friend” and tagging the post “true love”.
Rowan referred to her in response as his “partner in crime” – but close friends knew some of what was happening in private.
The former rugby player demanded constant sex from his wife, and if there was a night where she refused, he would punish her for days with the silent treatment.
Friends also reportedly admitted that Rowan regularly spoke to Hannah very aggressively, but it was the impact it was having on her children that saw Hannah finally say that enough was enough.
Rowan had controlled the clothes she wore, punished her for making jokes at work, and isolated her from her family – but despite all of his bullying, his brave daughter Aaliyah, who was born in 2013, was still willing to stand up to him.
One incident was witnessed by a schoolfriend’s mum, Varvara Meli, who explained that it had been the “last straw” for Hannah.
Varvana explained that Rowan had come to pick up Aaliyah from school, and the young girl quickly got upset and asked to borrow a phone to ring her mum.
“She had opened up to my girls during the day that she wasn’t looking forward to the afternoon,” Varvan said, adding, “‘I didn’t ask, I just gave her the phone.”
Aaliyah reassured her mum she was okay, and Hannah later confided in a witness that Rowan was “horrible” to their daughter because she “stood up to him.”
Hannah left Rowan and moved in with her parents, as well as getting a protective order against her estranged husband and staying in communication with the police about his threatening behaviour.
However, Rowan’s loss of control saw him take unthinkable steps to stop his family from getting free of him.
The morning of 19 February 2020 began like many other days. Hannah nipped out to grab a coffee for herself and her mum, and chatted with her as her mum got ready for work, whilst her daughters played together, and her son Trey watched some television.
Hannah’s mum headed off to work, saying goodbye and kissing her grandchildren. Less than an hour later, Hannah got the three youngsters into the car and was preparing to drive off when Rowan jumped into the passenger seat – holding a petrol canister.
She screamed and tried to get her evil ex out of the car, but he poured petrol all over her. Terrified, Hannah pulled the car over to a neighbour who was washing his vehicle and told him what was going on.
“Call the police, he’s going to kill me. He’s poured petrol on me,” she screamed.
Rowan was using all his strength to keep her in the car – holding her back around the chest and arms.
Within seconds, the car burst into flames.
The neighbour ran towards the blaze to free Hannah and the children, his face getting burned in the process.
Somehow, Hannah got out of the vehicle whilst on fire herself. But the children were trapped inside.
Her neighbour used his house to put out the flames engulfing Hannah, but the car exploded as other passerbys called emergency services and tried to help.
Rowan had also made it out of the car. Hannah was still conscious, explaining to everyone what had happened and that her children were inside the car.
No one could get to them because of the intensity of the fire.
Rowan produced a knife and stabbed himself on the side of the road, with Hannah still begging for her children. She had suffered full thickness burns on her entire body, but she still managed to stand up to try and reach them.
“I hope he survives and rots in jail for the rest of his life,” Hannah said to a paramedic who managed to give her an IV and some pain medication, in between relentlessly asking if her kids were okay, and if they had been rescued from the car.
The emergency worker told her it was “important to concentrate on herself right now,” the inquest heard.
“My babies are in the car, my children are in the car. Why didn’t I just stay in the car with them?” Hannah said.
She died in hospital later that day at 5.30 pm.
When the emergency services managed to finally put out the car fire over an hour after the terrifying ordeal had begun, “the burnt bodies of Aaliyah, Laianahand Trey were found in the back seat of the car,” the inquest into their deaths heard.
“They had sustained injuries that were clearly incompatible with life,” the inquest found, adding that “They had been burnt so badly that they could not be visually identified.”
Extraordinary measures were taken to try and save Rowan’s life, but he also died at the scene.
The investigating police found that the evil man’s actions had been “premeditated and the result of his inability to accept his loss of control over Hannah.”
For confidential support, call the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or visit womensaid.co.uk. If you or your family have lost a friend or family member through fatal domestic abuse, AAFDA (Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse) can offer specialist and expert support and advocacy. For more info visit** www.aafda.org.uk**.