Ruth Langsford’s mother is facing a health battle, 13 years after her dad died from the same condition
Ruth Langsford has opened up about juggling a hectic TV career with caring for her mother, Joan. The Loose Women star’s parent, now 94, is fighting Alzheimer’s disease – the same condition that claimed her father’s life 13 years ago.
Joan is now experiencing various challenging symptoms, such as memory loss, and Ruth consistently cares for her. She currently resides in a care home near Ruth’s house in Surrey.
Discussing her mother, Ruth said: “She wouldn’t remember what she’s had for her lunch or breakfast, and if I go and see her, when I leave, if you said to her was Ruth here today, she’d say no. But in the moment, she still knows it’s me – as soon as she sees me, she says ‘Oh, what a lovely surprise!’ like she hasn’t seen me for months.
“It’s very difficult, but I’m much more well-versed in this with my mum, because of my dad. We as a family had no idea about Alzheimer’s or dementia when he got it, and we were a bit lost. I learned a lot of lessons with my dad.”
Joan cared for Ruth’s father at their home in Cornwall for about 11 years before they eventually moved closer to the TV presenter. “It was a struggle for her towards the end,” Ruth continued.
“He would get up in the middle of the night and he flushed his pyjamas down the loo once and flooded the bathroom. It was awful. And she wouldn’t tell my sister and I sometimes, because we lived a long way away.
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“But eventually we realised how bad it had got, and she eventually agreed that he should go into a home.” Ruth stressed that because her mum is now in a care home too, she’s not looking after her 24/7.
She went on: “I don’t have that day-to-day care of cooking, cleaning, all those things, but I am still her main carer. So if they say your mum needs to see the doctor, or the dentist, or she needs some shower gel and toothpaste, then that does come down to me.
“And just generally I go in, I take her fruit, I take her flowers, I check the room, I look at her wardrobe, make sure things are hung in the right place. It’s care with love, isn’t it?”
Ruth’s caring responsibilities have led her to back a new partnership between the charity Dementia Carers Count and Amazon to help unpaid carers maximise the use of Alexa-enabled devices.
They have created a free visual guide that showcases key Alexa features, such as advanced scheduling tools to assist carers in managing daily routines and feeling more supported. This comes after research by Dementia Carers Count revealed that 71% of unpaid carers lack sufficient support, with over a third (36%) describing their role as a round-the-clock responsibility.
“The thing that stood out to me is the reminders, because I’m very good at putting things in the diary like Mum’s dental appointment, and forgetting to check it,” Ruth said. “So the fact that you can have a visual and an audio reminder is a great function for me.”
She then added wryly: “Actually, using the words ‘remembering to do it’ is kind of ironic, isn’t it, when we’re talking about dementia?” Ruth, who shares a 23-year-old son, Jack, with Eamonn Holmes, also described how challenging life can be for unpaid carers. She highlighted that anyone caring for loved ones needs all the support they can get.
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She continued: “So many people I know, including myself – I think they call us the sandwich generation don’t they – have got possibly a full-time job, kids still at home, and often parents that need some help, and it’s a lot for people to manage.
“Responsibility like that can weigh very heavily on people, and even though it’s somebody that you really love and you want to take care of them, it’s difficult and you feel responsible, especially if it’s people doing it on their own – it can be very lonely being a carer. And some of them are doing this 24/7 on their own, which I think is very, very difficult. And they need all the support they can get.”
With both her mum and dad having suffered from Alzheimer’s, Ruth confessed that she experiences moments of fear whenever she has a memory lapse, wondering whether she might be developing the condition herself.
However, she has no plans to undergo testing to determine her risk of getting dementia, revealing: “Every time I forget something, those blank moments where you go ‘I’ve totally forgotten that person’s name, and I work with them every day’, I can feel that panic.
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“And sometimes I look back and think, I was tired that day, but when you’ve had both parents with dementia of course it’s on my mind, and I know there are tests you can do that can say if you’re more susceptible, but I actually don’t want to know.
“That might sound a bit childlike, but as there’s no cure for it, and I know what it involves, I don’t want to know. I just want to live my life. If I get it, I get it. I hope not.”
Rather than fretting about dementia, Ruth says she has embraced living life to the fullest, genuinely relishing her career and maintaining a packed schedule. “You won’t come around here on an afternoon and find me lying on the sofa watching a film,” she said. “Because I’m always pottering about, I’ve got things to do.”
In her spare time, Ruth enjoys putting music on and cooking, gardening, walking her dog Maggie and switching her phone off. “I just try and walk with no earphones in, just walking, breathing in the fresh air, walking my dog in nature,” she said.
“And honestly, I love my work. I’m very lucky. Of course, there are days when I wish I didn’t have to go in because I’m tired or whatever, but I never dread going to work. I love my job, and I’m very fortunate.”
The 65-year-old star later added: “I feel fit, and I’ve started doing Pilates again, which I’m really enjoying. As I get older I’ve started thinking I’ve got to keep supple and keep my joints moving, but I have no intention of slowing down or retiring.”