The Made in Chelsea star opened up about how difficult the early stages of motherhood was and admitted to ‘extreme’ thoughts
Louise Thompson has made a heartbreaking confession about the early stages of motherhood, saying she was “not a good mum” and that there times when she thought about dying after giving birth to her son.
The Made in Chelsea star nearly died when she gave birth to son Leo, now 3. She spent a month in intensive care following the birth with “serious complications” and the following years have seen her in and out of hospital multiple times.
Joining Giovanna Fletcher on a recent episode of the Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast, Louise tearfully opened up about the “constant state of fear” she was living in.
READ MORE: Ozzy Osbourne’s MTV tribute by Yungblud branded ‘nail in the coffin for rock’ by starREAD MORE: David and Victoria Beckham accused of mocking Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
“I didn’t feel like a mother,” she said. “I couldn’t even really compare myself to the norm.
“I think what I didn’t realise is that I was triggered by Leo. But it took me a really long time to actually appreciate that.
“The crying – I remember once holding him and he was crying loads and I genuinely didn’t know what was going on.
“I just remember looking up to the skylight in my house and just praying and being like, ‘Please, please, someone like look after me in this moment, can I just get through?'”
She added that she knew these thoughts were “extreme” but they meant she struggled to take care of her son properly sometimes. She recalled a trip to Devon where she would leave the house without the right stuff to keep her son healthy.
“We did go to Devon for Easter, and I would go out and not have packed anything in a baby bag – I didn’t have water.”
She continued to say she was “grateful” to still be alive, but had thought about dying. “I was doing my best to stay alive. All I wanted to do was die.
“I just wanted someone to kill me because I didn’t have the strength or courage to do it myself.
But I knew I had to stay alive because you know, I would have okay moments that would give me hope.
“But year, I was not a good, present mother at the beginning and I will admit that.”
Louise’s fans flocked to clips of the conversation that were posted online to comment words of support. One said Louise “truly embodies the strength of a mother” and that she was “nothing short of inspirational”. Another added that “there is so much bravery, strength and healing in this honesty”.
“You are paving the way for others and opening up so many important conversations about motherhood.”
If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch.
Like this story? For more of the latest showbiz news and gossip, follow Mirror Celebs on TikTok , Snapchat , Instagram , Twitter , Facebook , YouTube and Threads .