Machine Gun Kelly has shared a very honest insight into his mental health struggles, admitting that while he feels ‘broken’, he is finding ways to deal with his issues
Machine Gun Kelly feels “broken” as he opened up about his mental health. The musician, who now goes by the stage name MGK, has spoken openly about his struggles over the years, but now, he admits he’s working on his issues.
In the past, the 35-year-old, whose real name is Colson Baker, has been extremely open about his issues, including suicidal ideation, drug and alcohol use over the years. Now, he said that his own issues have helped him create a lasting bond with his extremely dedicated fanbase.
Speaking at a receent event held at the Grammy Musuem in Downtown Los Angeles, MGK said: “I found through my fan base that I think they relate a lot more to the realness or the vulnerability or maybe the archetype of someone who rose from the ashes like a phoenix or someone who’s more broken because I feel like that’s a more common feeling around the world than people who are always in control or feel good about themselves.”
The GFY musician went on to add: “That’s a really easy place for me to tap into because honestly, man, for the most part, I feel broken, and I’m starting to do the work and I’ve been doing the work to put those pieces back together.”
But MGK admits that he’s worried he’ll lose his creativity if he is able to heal and deal with his struggles. He commented: “Sometimes I get a little too scared when the pieces come back together – like, ‘Oh, but how can I ever write about being broken if I’m always fixed?’
“And so maybe that was what I was feeling in the past three years since my last album, which was a mainstream sellout. I was getting a little scared of the writing that I was doing.”
He continued: “I wasn’t impressed by it, and things were going pretty good for me, and maybe something was just clicking in my head, but out of torment comes some really good content, good stuff. Yeah, torment comes good content. Yeah, for a poet at least.”
MGK also started writing a journal after spending time in a rehabilitation period over the Christmas period, which he says he would use when staff called “lights off”. He revealed: “I had this red notebook that a fan actually gave to me (that I) wrote so much in. They would lights off everything around 9:30, 10:00 pm, and then during all those hours that I couldn’t sleep, I would just write my feelings. So yeah, I do do that.”
His journal is what he uses to map out his life and write down his manifestations of what he hopes to achieve in both his personal life and his career.
“I write down things that I want to attain, and on a new moon, I burn it,” he said, adding: “I did that for the Grammys a couple of year ago. Didn’t pan out, but I think I was waiting for the right year.”
Last month, he opened up about the obstacles he’s faced and described himself as a “rolling stone.” Speaking to People magazine, he commented: “I’m a rolling stone, man. You’re bound to continue hitting rocks and obstacles. It’s just the path I chose, I guess.” On his latest record, lost americana, he wasn’t afraid to fully open up and share his raw emotions and vulnerability.
He said: “Vulnerability is how I was able to hold on to the fan base I’ve had for so many years. The human behind the music has to show the human side. Maybe this time, they’ll get to know the man-slash-broken-boy behind the moniker MGK.”
If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch
Frank offers confidential advice about drugs and addiction (email [email protected], message 82111 or call 0300 123 6600), or the NHS has information about getting help.
If you are struggling with alcohol abuse or addiction, advice and support can be found at alcoholchange.org.uk
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