Presumably they’ll top the arrival by whisking the President and First Lady off on a magic carpet to see the two surviving Beatles perform his favourite showtunes
Britain granted Donald Trump a lavish festival of pomp and royalty at a fairytale castle, at huge expense to the taxpayer and perhaps greater expense to our national dignity.
He was treated to three regiments of bearskin hat-wearing guards and a brass band playing his national anthem and a horse-drawn ride in a gold-trimmed carriage with the King.
Presumably they’ll top that this afternoon by whisking the President and First Lady off on a magic carpet to see the two surviving Beatles perform his favourite showtunes, while a lunch of roast swan is served to him by living relatives of Churchill.
It was a display of filthy, dripping opulence that is seldom afforded to a visiting world leader.
And it’s left many people asking the same question. Why?
Trump is objectively a terrible and unpopular President. He’s an unreliable partner – both politically and personally. He’s a habitual liar, a convicted felon and polling shows most Brits strongly dislike him.
He was a close friend of Jeffrey Epstein, America’s most notorious paedophile, something that has been seen as a deal breaker for diplomats of late.
He has shown little interest in or willingness to engage in good faith relations on trade, international diplomacy or abiding by international laws and norms.
He proudly presides over the extraordinary rendition of people he doesn’t like to random countries, occasionally to unaccountable torture camps.
He continues to maintain the lie that the 2020 election, which he lost, was “rigged”, and defended a violent attempted coup intended to overturn the result – which he instigated – as a “day of love.”
And he frequently takes the side of our enemies.
A lot of people say he’s a “transactional” President. But the idea of a transaction is for both sides to get something they want. And that isn’t happening.
Many in this country will have cringed with discomfort as they watched Trump’s welcome to Windsor Castle today.
The tedious time-filling commentary laid over TV coverage of the events on both sides of the pond has so far been somewhere just south of ‘standing outside the Lindo Wing’.
Between tired observations like “well, you know, Marine One always flies with a decoy” and “you know, Marine One is just the call sign used for whatever helicopter he happens to be in”, there were endless talking heads telling us how state visits like this are vital to our diplomatic relations.
Fox News even hauled Piers Morgan on to guff about how much “Trumpism” is growing in popularity in the UK, which polls suggest is abject nonsense.
In their most recent polling, last month, Donald Trump’s popularity among GB adults was -61.
There’s little change in that figure between social classes – with ABC1s on -67 and C2DEs slightly less offended by him – but still on -50. He is hugely unpopular among Brits of every age, sex and political affiliation, with the exception of Reform UK voters, who give him a +11.
Beleaguered Keir Starmer, on the other hand, was enjoying a relatively buoyant -44 popularity rating. See? It could be worse.
But oh, you might say: We need to butter him up so he’ll help us to defend Ukraine.
Well, we may have caught him in the wrong mood for that, because just before he got on the plane to come here he declared Zelensky needed to “make a deal”. Which means he wants him to give bits of Ukrainian territory to Putin, a violent, illegal aggressor.
And you, you might say: We need to butter him up so he’ll give us a better deal on trade.
Well, overnight it was reported that work towards agreeing a zero tariff rate on steel and aluminium has been “shelved”.
So, honestly, what are we getting out of giving the world’s oldest toddler the equivalent of a VIP trip to Disneyland?