A woman has shared how she embarrassed her mother-in-law with a quick response when asked when her and her husband would be having kids – and she shared it on Reddit
A woman was left mortified when her mother-in-law kept asking her when they’d be having children, not considering the wealth of reasons why they may not have them already. However, when her mother-in-law asked one too many times, she concocted the perfect response that made her shrink back into her chair and not bother asking again out of embarrassment.
She explained she and her husband got married, and shortly after they did, his mum began “asking for grandkids”. The woman shared it was at “every family gathering,” and also “usually in front of other people,” which left them cringing and feeling uncomfortable.
“After a while, I thought of the perfect traumatising comeback and waited,” she shared, saving it for the perfect moment to make her squirm.
She told Reddit: “At Thanksgiving that year, everyone was together and she asked again. I looked her in the eye and said loud enough for everyone to hear ‘if I told you we are trying and we’re having trouble you’d feel like s***, wouldn’t you?’ She shrank back in her seat and never asked again.”
The ‘we’re having trouble’ likely made the mother-in-law feel awful, and forced her to not bring up the whole situation again.
The original poster did explain she went on to have children when they were ready, and “she was one of the first people” that they told.
In the comments, someone joked: “My daughter’s mother-in-law used to ask this question at every family function. Last Thanksgiving, she asked across the table with close to 20 family members sitting together. My daughter, without missing a beat, responded, ‘Why do you keep asking about your son’s sex life?’
“Her mother-in-law laughed and said she hadn’t thought of it like that. The question hasn’t come up again.”
Another, more crudely, explained: “I told my aunt we were waiting so sticking to a*** just to be safe, and funnily enough she also never asked again either.”
Why is it wrong to ask someone when they’re having children?
First and foremost, the decision to have children is deeply personal and life-changing. When family members pressure someone to become a parent, it can create feelings of anxiety, guilt, and resentment. The individual may feel that their own desires, dreams, and readiness are being overlooked in favour of meeting family expectations. This can lead to emotional distress and strain relationships within the family.
Raising a child requires a tremendous amount of commitment, responsibility, and resources – emotionally, financially, and physically.
Not everyone is ready for this responsibility at the same time, or even at all. Pressuring someone to have children before they are ready, or if they do not want children, can result in negative consequences for both the parent and the child.
Additionally, societal norms and expectations around family and parenthood are changing. People are increasingly recognising that fulfilment and happiness can come from many different life paths, not just from becoming a parent. Some people may wish to focus on their careers, personal growth, travel, or other pursuits. Others may face health issues, infertility, or financial instability that make parenthood difficult or impossible.
It’s important to respect autonomy and personal choice. Each person has the right to make decisions about their own life, including whether or not to become a parent.
Supporting a loved one means accepting their choices, even if they differ from your own hopes or expectations. When family members offer unconditional love and understanding, it strengthens the bond between them and allows everyone to thrive in their own way.
In summary, pressuring someone to have children can cause emotional harm, strain relationships, and lead to negative outcomes for both parents and children.