A mum-to-be has banned her baby’s father from witnessing the birth of their child after he made a comment that ‘crossed a boundary’ and completely broke her trust in him
Giving birth is no easy task, and you want the people in the room with you to be able to support you through it.
Most new mums will want their partner in the delivery room with them when they welcome their child into the world, but if you’ve split up with your child’s father or have other reasons for not wanting him in the room, you cannot be forced to allow him in – the decision is ultimately down to you.
One mum-to-be is at loggerheads with her ex-boyfriend after he demanded to be in the delivery room when she gives birth, as she refuses to let him because of a comment he made that “crossed a boundary”. The woman said she can no longer trust her baby’s father to not disrespect her boundaries again in the delivery room, so she’s opting to have her best friend with her for support instead – leaving the dad fuming.
In a post on Reddit, the mum explained she split up with her partner a few months ago, and has accused him of not being supportive “at all” during her pregnancy while they were together. She claimed the dad-to-be also kept insisting he “has a right” to see his child being born by physically watching the act happen, despite the woman repeatedly stating she didn’t feel comfortable with him seeing her “vagina literally split open”.
But instead of respecting her boundaries, the man simply said he was “going to do it anyway”, leaving the woman unable to trust him in the delivery room. She wrote: “I told him that when I give birth, I do not want him to look down there and he kept insisting, saying he has a right to see his child being born. I told him that I do not want him to see my vagina literally split open and to please not cross that boundary, but he always just said he’s gonna do it anyways. It especially weirds me out now that he’s my ex.”
The woman added she had always intended on having her best friend with her when she gives birth as she’s been “so supportive” throughout her pregnancy. However, she recently discovered she can only have one person in the delivery room – so has picked her friend over the baby’s father.
She explained: “I’m only allowed one other person in the room with me but even if I could have more, I don’t think I would want him there. I don’t know how to bring this up to him without him completely blowing up at me. He already spent the first half of my pregnancy picking fights and yelling, I really don’t think I could handle anymore.”
In a later update to the post, the woman said her dynamic with her ex has “gotten better” since they split up and she believes they’ll be able to co-parent well, but she still doesn’t want him in the delivery room.
“I just don’t want him there with me for the most vulnerable moment I’ll ever experience because he hasn’t shown much empathy in the past when it came to pregnancy and childbirth-related discussions,” she shared, “He has stated multiple times that he will not respect the only boundary I have set for my childbirth thus far (looking at my ladybits when the baby comes).”
Commenters on the post were on the mum-to-be’s side, with many stating that giving birth is not a “spectator sport”, and that she should do whatever makes her feel the most comfortable. One person said: “This is your medical event and it’s your prerogative to choose whatever support person you prefer,” while another added: “You choose the person most likely to offer you support. Birthing a baby is not a spectator sport and it is a privilege, not a right.”
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