Emma Bray wanted to protect her children from seeing her die a “terrible” death from motor neurone disease, so made the heartbreaking decision to starve herself to death instead
A remarkable mum with MND – who made the heartbreaking decision to starve herself to “spare” her children – has left a final heartbreaking message saying goodbye to the world.
Emma Bray, 42, a Dignity in Dying campaigner, who bravely told The Mirror about her plans to move into a hospice this summer and voluntarily stop eating and drinking, has died.
The proud and devoted mum left a touching and powerful final message on her Instagram account, under a photograph of her lying in a hospice bed in Devon looking out over the trees.
She wrote: “If you are reading this then I’ve finished my final spin round the sun .I’ve lived a very good life, surrounded by love, music and laughter and I want this to continue in my memory.
“Rather than shed a tear (or whilst you do) please plant a tree or call a friend, do a random act of kindness or take time to watch a sunset. For moments of doubt please ask “what would Emma do?”and run with that probably inappropriate answer. Hug everyone a little tighter and love openly. Please surround those who were closest to me with love, time and patience.
“And to quote Frank Turner – Remember you get to dance another day but now you have to dance for one more of us. Love you, bye.”
Days before the post Emma and her friends had gone to see Alanis Morissette in concert, which she described as being on her ‘bucket list’. She wrote: “After 29 years of true love I wasn’t going to let a little inconvenient terminal illness let me miss this.”
Emma had been using the Instagram page ‘supid_mnd’ to show her ‘MND journey’ including the ‘good, bad and ugly’
Her message was met with outpouring of love and grief, with one healthcare professional, writing about meeting her during training. “You have greatly impacted my own practice, and I’m sure many other professionals too. Your life was too short, but the impact you made was huge.”
Earlier this year in May, the former charity worker, who has helped hundreds of domestic abuse victims and the homeless during her career, told us how she wanted to shield her “amazing” children, aged 15 and 14, from the “brutal” and “terrible” death she faced.
“I’ve had four different health professionals tell me I’ve got the worst disease possible,” she told the Mirror. MND is a terminal neurological condition that affects the brain and spinal cord leading to muscle weakness and wasting.
She wanted to spare her children the horror of seeing their mum suddenly choke to death. Instead she wanted a “calm and peaceful death” and had planned her funeral and written her eulogy.
“My last bit of parenting I can do is to limit the suffering and trauma they have to witness. I made a promise to myself that I wanted to wait to see my daughter finish high school and my son grow up a little so I can picture the man he will become.”
Emma had decided to die using the Voluntarily stopping eating and drinking (VSED) practice. This is where an adult makes a decision to hasten their death by completely stopping all food and fluids. They say dying from VSED can typically take between 10 to 14 days.
Emma, from Barnstaple in North Devon, had endured extra pain during her trips to London to back the Assisted Dying Bill. She said she wanted other families to avoid the horrifying decisions she had to make between two “painful and potentially horrific” ways to die.
She said: “This bill will have offered me protection for those I love who have already spent two years living with anticipatory grief and watching me suffer.
“Imagine seeing your children crying and upset and not be able to hug them or curl up in bed and wipe their tears away. This is hands down the thing I hate the most about motor neurone disease. It’s taken my children’s mum from them little by little…
“I urge MPs to realise that this bill will not end my life, motor neurone disease is doing that but they can help me and others with less than six months to live to die with peace. “