Inviting guests for dinner then asking them to pay with no prior warning is no way to behave as a gracious hostess according to one woman who was left shocked by her friend’s actions
A woman who was invited over for dinner by a new college friend was shocked when she was asked to help pay for the cost if the food and a bottle of booze she didn’t even know had been used. The student said she and other friends went over because the hostess had been constantly mentioning she wanted to cook for the group, and she and the other guests had already contributed to the meal by bringing wine and and tequila, even leaving a bottle for her as a gift.
But the next day the woman told other users on Reddit that she received a message from the hostess asking for £8 ($10) from each of her guests to help cover the cost of the food, which the now-fuming guest said was “pretty lacklustre” and also to pay for the hostesses’ roommate’s bottle of tequila that the guest said she had no idea had been drunk.
The woman said: “Her menu of food was pretty lacklustre and most of us contributed to her hosting by bringing nice wine and tequila while leaving her one bottle as a hostess gift. The next day she sends us all a message asking if we can pitch in £8 ($10) each to cover some of the food cost and to cover the cost of her roommate’s tequila which we didn’t even know was opened.
“I reluctantly sent her the money, as did some of my other friends even though I had a few friends think it was absolutely ridiculous to do, so they completely avoided sending her anything. Since then I have sent her a message requesting her to let us know if she expects compensation especially if she is PURPOSEFULLY inviting us and to also let us know if we are using her roommate’s items which we are expected to pay for. I got a lukewarm response from her and now I can’t help but think she is tacky and has bad etiquette.”
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Fellow posters were right behind the writer, saying that what the hostess did was “tacky” and she should realise that as the person hosting the dinner, she should be covering all the costs. One said: “Your thinking is spot on. Who does this, invite guests then ask them to pay? I think this deserves a ‘turn about is fair play’ moment in the future. Maybe she has not been on the receiving end of one of these situations. Maybe it is time for her to be. So tacky! Very bad manners your new friend has.”
And another said: “This is the tackiest thing I have ever heard of! I am Italian/American and my mum was an army wife. I was raised to feed everyone! If people want to bring stuff or help out with dishes, sure that is lovely but, I would never ask for money. If I couldn’t afford to have people over I wouldn’t,” and a third said: “It’s ok to chip in on food for a party if the arrangements are made ahead of time. If she didn’t tell you she needed money ahead of time, she should not have billed you after. I would not have paid.”