A woman has been left fuming after her mum insisted on wearing a white gown to her wedding – and has been branded ‘selfish’ for trying to talk her into the idea
A woman has hit out at her ‘entitled’ mum for wanting to wear a white gown to her wedding for a ‘selfish reason’. The 23-year-old shared how she is due to tie the knot in October, but says her relationship with her mum has plummeted since her engagement.
She says her mum has been “oddly competitive” with her throughout her life, remarking on her figure, comparing engagement rings, and now saying things like, ‘this day is as much about me as it is about you’. Taking to Reddit, she said: “I honestly thought she was joking until she showed me the dress she bought, a white, floor length gown that looks exactly like a bridal dress. I told her, flat out, she cannot wear that because in my opinion it doesn’t match the occasion.
“She got quiet, then burst into tears, saying it’s her ‘[…] opportunity to feel beautiful before getting old’ and that I’m selfish for not letting her have this one thing.”
She confessed she “felt bad for her” and offered to go dress shopping with her to find something “elegant and more appropriate.”
She added: “And all of a sudden, her countenance changed and then she told me I was controlling and ungrateful.
“What gave me peace was that My fiancé backed me up, as did my maid of honour. Now my mum is threatening not to come to the wedding, and my aunt says I should just ‘let her have this’ to avoid drama.
“I don’t think I’m wrong for drawing a line here, but now part of me wonders if I am the a***hole?” One user expressed their distaste for the situation, commenting: “This is not her last chance to wear a wedding dress. It’s her current opportunity to wear a wedding dress to a wedding.
“But it isn’t her wedding, so it’s totally inappropriate, and she has daily opportunities to wear a wedding dress when it’s inappropriate for the occasion.
“She can wear it to the supermarket, to church, the zoo, a restaurant, a pub, on a flight or a cross country train journey – all equally inappropriate as wearing a wedding dress to her daughter’s wedding.
“She just doesn’t like you being the centre of attention; that’s why she wants to wear it.
“And not only would she look equally as foolish wearing a wedding dress to your wedding as she would wearing it to any of the above places, she would also look like she’s jealous of her daughter and pathetically competitive with her. People will judge her as a person and as a mother.”
Another user concurred: “Stop negotiating with her. Stop problem solving for her. Set a clear boundary and hold the line.
“Tell her that a guest wearing white is inappropriate and that you would have her removed from the wedding if she does so.
“And call her bluff, ‘I’m sorry you’re unwilling to come. I’ll let the guests know why.’ And make sure you control the narrative.
“Tell the bridal party – ‘My mum is not coming because I veto-ed her wearing a white gown. If she shows up in white, please escort her back out as quietly and quickly as you can.'”.
“This is her decision. Not a need. Not something to discuss and negotiate. She is making a decision to disrespect you. Time for a shiny spine.”